Monday, April 29, 2013

Revised "5" post

Today is brought to you by the number 5

**I did this in 2009, its almost been 5 years since I did it! crazy!**

5 Things I was doing 5 years ago:
1. I was taking a boyfriend hiatus after a BAD breakup
2. In college trying to decide if I wanted to do Dental Hygiene anymore
3. Hanging out ALOT with my BFF
4. Being truly thankful for my family who became my best friends.
5. Trying to decide if I was going to bite the bullet and buy a new car. (i didn't--which was a mistake!)

5 Things on my To-Do List right now:
1. Sell stuff on Craigslist
2. Dishes
3. Go in for an ultrasound this week
4. Love on my husband
5. Organize the bedroom

5 Things I would do with "1 MILLION dollurs!" (Bedtimes stories):
1. Baby! (fertility, IVF, adoption)
2. Buy our own home
3. Be generous with giving
4. Invest
5. Buy a SUV :)

5 Places I have lived:
1. 7th Place, Mesa
2. 454 Brown Rd., Mesa
3.  1233 Mesa Dr., Mesa
4. Bigfork, MT (2 months one summer, and 2 weeks every summer since)
5. Pinedale, AZ (6 weeks every summer as a kid) do these count?!?

5 things I want to be doing in 5 years!
1. Being a mom to at least 2 kids
2. Doing more hair at home 
3. Growing a great garden to help us be healthy!
4. Serving in the church
5. Supporting my husband no matter what!
5 Places I want to go to during my life:
1. Ireland
2. England
3. Italy
4. Greece
5. Australia 

Oh, prom.

My parents had their last child go to their Senior Prom on Saturday.
Its been 14 years since Jeff went. 
yeah...we have big gaps between us kids. I was waiting for Joe to bring his beautiful date to our house for a few minutes so we could see them, I got to reflecting on my Senior Prom. Unfortunately, I don't have very many happy memories attached to that night. I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year, but the month before our Prom he started being a total jerk to me. However, no one else was going to ask me to prom because we were dating. I finally went with my mom and bought my first formal dress (I had borrowed my cousin Becky's for all of my other formal dances) at Arizona Bridal. It was stinking expensive, but GORGEOUS. It was a fitted sheath dress, with a beaded overlay (HEAVY), and a massive tulle train that we had bustled. I adored this dress. Well, my boyfriend didn't even officially ask me until the week before prom. And then all of that night, he never once commented on how nice I looked or anything. He was totally lame all night and made my first and last prom totally awful. Needless to say we broke up right after graduation and we both were happier and moved on quickly.

I'm so proud of my baby brother. Joe makes (and has always made) good choices. He knows that he shouldn't have a steady girlfriend before his mission, so hes never "dated dated" a girl. He has a great group of friends and they all have gone to dances together and they do large group dates when they go out. I can't believe Joe will be graduating in less than a month, and out on his mission before the end of this year. 
Time just keeps flying. 

For your entertainment, I found (amazingly) one of my big brother Jeff's Senior prom pictures, one of mine, and since I took them, one of Joe's. So fun!

(Jeff and Sarah May 1999)

(Me and Justin May 2005)

(Joe and Whitney April 2013)

Friday, April 26, 2013


Can we all just take a minute and appreciate how freaking TAN i was growing up?!
Man, alive I wish I didn't have to work so i could maybe have some color again.

Also, we should note how terrified Joe seems to be. It must be my teeth...those would scare anybody!

Thursday, April 25, 2013


Lately I have caught myself day dreaming of my future life.

Jace and I have sat down multiple times and "mapped" out what we'd like our lives to look like in 3 year, 
5 year, and 10 year increments.

Some goals in those lists are:
Have at least 2 kids
Jace will finish college
We will buy a house
Have a new car
Have another kid
Go to Ireland for our anniversary
Jace will receive multiple promotions

and the list goes on.

I've been day dreaming about what it will be like when i'm finally pregnant. 
How i'll look, how i'll feel. How we will need to re-arrange furniture to fit baby stuff. 
What we'll actually need to have/buy for when we have a baby. 

Yesterday was a weird day. I'm on lots of medicine so i always And then things kept happening that weren't planned, things were taking longer than they were supposed to, i bit my lip hard and its all swollen, i forgot to eat dinner, and JACE wanted to watch a reality TV show. 
My world was kinda upside down.

Yesterday at work, I also decided that i'd start planning our UK adventure! Jace and I both LOVE Ireland. To death. I have family from there. We both agreed on our honeymoon that we'd start planning and saving and go to Ireland for our anniversary. What we couldn't see coming then, was that we'd have to do fertility and that would put a kibosh on our 5th anniversary plans.

 However, I decided that i was sick of just talking about someday and that i would start researching and getting a good base plan! I had so much fun. We will fly to JFK (I've never been to NYC) and then we'd fly to Dublin. We'd have 2 weeks to explore and do what we want! Like we'd go to London on the train (never been on a train!) and we'd see all of the "touristy sights"that Jace has his heart set on, and we'd go to the Isle of Wight (by ferry!) because that is where my fathers family (at some point down the line) came from! 

We'd also take another train and go to Scotland for a few days. 

I'm telling you, I cant wait to put this dream into motion and actually GO on our UK trip. It will be grand, for sure. :)

Do you have things that you day dream about regularly?

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Our Journey Part 9

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

...this call said I wasn't pregnant.

picture the most discouraging, disappointing thing you can and this is how I felt.


The nurse on the phone is the one who took my blood.

She sounds as discouraged as I am. This has to be hard for them too. They don't want to see people get hurt either. So I try to not cry on the phone as she discusses what my Doctor wants to do differently for this next cycle.

I hurry off the phone and know that I have to call Jace now.

This is the worst part. Hes going to be really disappointed.

I call. He answers. I burst into tears. He says, "oh no. i'll be home as soon as i can." and hangs up having to get back to work.

I call my mom...I know shes been just as anxious as me.

She answers...shes been waiting to hear from me. You can hear the trepidation in her voice.

I say, nope...not this month.

And we both burst into tears at the same time.

She apologizes to ME. She wanted it so badly for me. With all my weird symptoms this month she was sure that I was pregnant but didn't want to say anything to get my hopes up. Meanwhile, she got her own hopes up. I get my sobbing under enough control to spit out the words..."i really thought it was going to happen. I really thought i was pregnant." and then i started sobbing harder....and she replied through her sobs..."i'm so sorry honey. your heart is broken...and its breaking mine not knowing how i can help."

I get it together (somewhat) and ask her to tell dad and my brothers. I couldn't make those calls.

By the next day, I was okay. I mean not REALLY okay, but I had no fear of bursting into tears at work. I mean...I just need to gear up to start over.

Next cycle would start up in a week or so.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Katie McGuire

My best friend married her sweetheart yesterday. FINALLY!!! They have been planning this wedding for over a year! I would've gone crazy with all that time, but they did it and it turned out beautifully.

Katie and her step momma Terri

The matrons of honor trying to get the veils in.

Husband and Wife--finally!

Just before the ceremony! 

Katie looked like an angel...she was seriously so beautiful.

The ceremony was very nice, Christ centered, and their Pastor was awesome and funny.

Pictures seemed to take forever!!, but hopefully they all turn out just as she wants them!

They had the ceremony, then a cocktail hour, then the toast portion (yes, i gave a toast), then dinner, then the  dancing reception started.

It was a very long, but very fun day. To prove it, my feet are covered in blisters and as soon as I laid down last night--i passed out and didnt wake up until 8 this morning.

I thought that I would include my toast in here...for future posterity...because i'm sure they'll all love to hear about how much their mom loves their aunt Katie and how i cried in front of all of those people while giving it. :)

"Almost 15 years ago, I sat in my English class looking for a friend. I really needed one at that point. We were working in groups and there was one girl that I knew i could be friends with, but I was too chicken to go up and talk to her. Later that day when I found out we were playing in the same orchestra and she played the violin too, I felt like it was fate. I got up my courage and asked her to have lunch with me. We instantly became good friends--discovering a mutual love of Nsync, rainbow sprinkles, CDs, Instant messenger (when it was cool), and a thousand other little things. Over the next 6 years, we became best friends. And if you dont believe me, Katie made these shirts for us one Christmas  that say 'Andrea and Katie Best Friends since 1999.' Our friendship was complete with secret notebooks and even our own language. I never had a sister growing up, and I feel like Katie filled that void in my life. We shared almost every weekend together with pool parties at her house, slumber parties galore, annual Christmas parties at my house, tons of junk food, late night runs to go get ice cream, wondering the malls, and some serious slap happy giggle fits. We've gone through alot together--school, road trips, first kisses, first loves, graduations, illness' in our families, college, and finally finding our own true loves. I don't know Adam very well, but I know he must be a great guy because Katie loves him. And I know he must be a smart guy, because he chose Katie. 4 Years ago, I married my own sweetheart and was so blessed to have Katie by my side--and today I'm proud to be here by hers. I'm so happy that you found one another! Adam, take good care of our girl, shes a special one. And  Katie: allabi lallabove yallabou. Raise your glasses to Katie and Adam!"

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Starting to click.

Yesterday I wrote a pretty negative blog post. I think I left it up for a few hours before I finally just deleted it.

Being happy and positive didn't use to be as hard as it is right now.

Infertility, money stress, life stress, and lots of medication (hormone medication to be exact) will do that to you, i guess. But I don't like who I am when i'm negative.

I've been praying to find my way back from the"dark" and come back into the "light" of positive thinking.

A couple of years ago, I went to my first Time Out for Women. If I can swing it, i will be going to that every year for as long as they are going to do it. There was a musical/inspirational presenter named Hilary Weeks. I loved her. Everything she sang...everything she talked about just soaked into my soul. Seriously.

(My favorite CD)

(This was the Time Out for Women that I first saw her at)

Well, today Hilary posted a video segment that she did on a local TV show...about the POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING.

Um...hello. This had my name all over it!

watch it here

After seeing it, I went onto the website that Hilary started...Billion Clicks and I knew, I just KNEW that this was going to help get me out of my dark hole. I just signed up...and I've contributed 14 clicks this morning.

Its going to be a good day. Something just "started to click." ME.

Monday, April 15, 2013

gr. arg.

I'm trying to update my blog with pictures and also get my yearly photo journal (thank you picaboo!) updated, but for whatever reason my phone has decided to not allow me to send pictures to my email so I can save them to my laptop.

Sometimes I hate technology.

gr. arg.

PS. I haven't killed any of my vegetable plants...yet. Yea!


PPS. Our poor hamster Pepper went to heaven last night. I will never own a hamster/gerbil/guinea pig/rabbit/bird ever again. They don't live very long (ours only had a life expectancy of 3 years tops--and she almost made it to us having her for 3 years), and they don't cuddle....and basically my sensitive heart cant take it. I don't care how badly our children whine and beg in the future.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Our Journey Part 8

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

I've never before had time move so fast and so slow at the same time. Seriously. I cant even describe it properly...but i was MISERABLE for those 2 weeks that we had to wait until our next appointment.

We were praying so hard, and fasting, and our family was doing the same.

Through these 2 weeks, I tried my best not to be thinking that I was pregnant. I didn't want a repeat of my major meltdown like the month before.

However, things were definitely different this month than last month. I was THIRSTY for water...ALL THE TIME. I am horrible at drinking water, and I always have been. So that was weird.

I also was getting up in the middle of the night with crazy weird dreams. Every night.

I was beyond sensitive to smells. We went to AJ's for dessert one night, and decided to walk to the butcher section to see if they had anything good...the smell of fish hit me before we even got there and we had to immediately turn around and leave the store for fresh air.

Also, towards the end of the 2 weeks I woke up and was throwing up in the mornings.

I really started thinking that there was something in there!!! But I didn't talk about it with anyone. Just couldn't do it. I didn't want to get people thinking that I was pregnant if I ended up not being pregnant.

So my appointment for my blood test was scheduled...and after last time I knew that since it was after noon (my appointment had to be at 230 because of work) that it was possible that I wasn't going to get the call letting me know until the next day.

I was antsy, that's for sure. After my appointment, Jace wanted me to come and visit him at work (hes only a couple of miles up from my doctor). I went and HE was the one that was super nervous this time. He kept asking me "so how did it go?", fine. they drew blood and i left. "well what did they say?"...that they would call with the results, but probably not today. "well, did they have any indication of what it might be?" silly! that's what the blood test is for; they cant read the blood with their psychic powers.

It went on like that for about 5 minutes and then he needed to help a I left. and sat on my couch, phone in hand, watching my clock tick ever so closer to 5 pm (the cut off time of calling that day).

tick, tock. tick, tock.

5:30 PM.

Okay...not happening that day. ::sigh of disappointment::


its the doctors office. deep breath. here we go!


Tuesday, April 9, 2013

to be a bridesmaid

My best friend growing up (15 years!) is getting married a week from this Friday.

I cant believe it!

She was my Maid of Honor (almost 4 years ago!), and asked me to be one of her Matrons of Honor.

Honestly...i've only been a part of 2 weddings before that were not going to be in the temple. The first was when i was 16--I played the piano for their ceremony (cant actually believe i did that!), and the other I was the maid of honor, but we acted like it was more of a "mormon wedding" than not.

Well, this has been very different. First off, she got engaged almost a year ago. That's A LONG time. I've had her save the date on my fridge for like 7 months (i actually don't know for sure...but its been there

The other matron of honor is her sister, and the other bridesmaids are a sister, and a future sister in law. (sisters know what she wants, and are able to just go ahead and do it, plus they are in more contact)

The bride and her groom bought a house together and have been living together for almost 6 months.

For her bridal shower, she had registered for bath towels...well we bought her all of the ones on her registry and when she opened them she exclaimed, "our extra towels for our guest bathroom!" for heavens sake, when i got married and we registered for towels it was because we owned NONE. lol

everything is just....different.

My duties are the fact that i don't have a CLUE what my duties are. Seriously.

I've asked and asked what she wants me to do and since we don't see each other much, she hasn't really provided me with things that I can help with. However. I'm going to do my best to just BE there. That's the most important thing right? To make sure you help de-stress, to help fix flyaway hairs, running makeup, a tissue or 2 (i cried at my ceremony, and once at the reception) providing a honeymoon bag (that's my gift to her!), to write a cute toast, to not focus on the fact that my dress makes me look like a whale, helping decorate a get-a-way car and make sure that the groomsmen don't go TOO overboard with things, and letting her know she is loved. That's what it REALLY means to be a bridesmaid, right?

Monday, April 8, 2013

How quickly we forget--and my testimony

So remember when I wrote this post on fear?

Well..., its been what, a week? and already I was letting fear back in and it definitely had its grip on me.

My husband is pretty special. And sometimes he really surprises me. Last week, I was in the kitchen making dinner when he got home. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. I had been busy worrying--about everything. Things that don't even concern me! I was worried about all of the bills pilling up from the fertility doctor (and feeling guilty because its my "fault" that we have to go to a specialist), I was worried about our poor old red car holding together to last a while since we cant afford a new car right now. I was worried about what Jace's parents where going to do this next month when they came home from their mission. I was worried about not being a good enough wife, I was worried about not having the cleanest home, I was worried that I wasn't working on my spirituality enough. Basically, I just let my thoughts go and go they did! They took off down a road that I was having trouble finding my way back from.

Que Jace. He pulled out his phone, and said "do you know what helps me"? And proceeded to read a series of scriptures that allowed me to BREATHE. It was amazing! What was even more amazing was that Jace decided that we were going to forgo ALL TV at home (Netflix/hulu/DVDs), and for him ALL video games for that next week. We were going to focus more on us as a couple, and on Christ. I felt like we were on cloud 9! All of that "extra" don't even realize how much time or energy it takes up. Seriously.

I felt like I was dying last Monday--I was so sick. I had our Relief Society night the next night, so I needed to be better. Miraculously I was! However I was gone all night. And you know what I came home to? My surprising husband had CLEANED THE ENTIRE APARTMENT. He did the dishes, the scrubbing, the vacuuming, and had started on the laundry! It was such a treat to come home to! He looked at me and said, "its amazing how much more time I have since we cut out all of that other junk, and it made me look and think about what you might need from me". I seriously went into the bedroom and cried just a bit...because my home no longer looked like a dragon cave and my husband was so thoughtful. It was so sweet.

This week I have read testimony after testimony of people online in part preparation for General Conference this weekend. I woke up Saturday morning, stayed in my jammies, and watched conference from my bed. The talks were wonderful and a BALM to my troubled soul. I no longer felt despair or worry, I felt hope and love and light. That's what Christ does for you. That's what the truth of the gospel does for you. The congregational hymn Saturday morning is what pushed me over the "edge" if you will. I truly felt like my Heavenly Father was not only aware of ME, but of my recent struggles. The hymn was "Let Us All Press On"  which you can watch here, but its the specific words that were meant "just for me" that I wanted to share with you.


  1. 1. Let us all press on in the work of the Lord,
    That when life is o'er we may gain a reward;
    In the fight for right let us wield a sword,
    The mighty sword of truth.
  2. (Chorus)
    Fear not, though the enemy deride;
    Courage, for the Lord is on our side.
    We will heed not what the wicked may say,
    But the Lord alone we will obey.
  3. (Chorus: Alto, Tenor, and Bass)
    Fear not, courage, though the enemy deride;
    We must be victorious, for the Lord is on our side.
    We'll not fear the wicked nor give heed to what they say,
    But the Lord, our Heav'nly Father, him alone we will obey.
  4. 2. We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few
    When compared with the opposite host in view;
    But an unseen pow'r will aid me and you
    In the glorious cause of truth.
3. If we do what's right we have no need to fear,
For the Lord, our helper, will ever be near;
In the days of trial his Saints he will cheer,
And prosper the cause of truth.

I seriously, can not express properly, just HOW much this was needed, and how GRATEFUL I am to my Heavenly Father for his continued Love, Patience, and Compassion on me. I love the Lord so much. I know that this gospel is true--WITHOUT A DOUBT. 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

General Conference

General Conference (for those who don't know) is a bi-annual, 2 day conference held in SLC, Utah for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. How grateful I am for technology, allowing me to stream it live from my computer to my TV while I'm here at home in Arizona.
General Conference is like a balm to my soul. I truly believe that.

And the best part is that it is available for anyone to watch!!! If you're curious, please! go to this link and enjoy!!! I know that 4 hours a day on your weekend may seem like a long time, but seriously every year I wonder how its over already. Its that good.

I'll see you next week, I'm going to go get spiritually uplifted!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Book Review--Edenbrooke

So, I was just thinking that I've never really talked about books on my blog!

That is crazy to me, because books are a HUGE part of my life. Books are my sanctuary, if you will. I can pick up a book and be instantly transported into another time and place. I see the story play out in my head much like an actual movie would. When I read, I get lost in the story. I don't hear whats going on around me--I can tune everything, and everyone out. (I love, and my mother hates that little trait!)

I've always LOVED and "wanted to be" sleeping beauty, but totally envied Belle's library at the Beasts castle. 

 I attribute my love of reading having started with my Grandma Gunnell...she was constantly 
reading me a book!

I'm a natural speed reader---always have been. My mom and brother Jeff never believed that I was actually done with a book (for a school assignment or just for fun) when I told them I was. They used to make me do "summaries" and when I was going into so much detail, it blew their minds!

My closet at my parents house was a walk-in (sigh!), and I had a TON of space for shoes...which QUICKLY became my bookshelf. My shoes took a backseat on the floor so I could display my books properly!

Every year I asked for books for my birthday or for Christmas. One year my brother Jeff got me 4 books (one of which was the ENTIRE Narnia series) for Christmas...I had ALL of them read within a week. That's when he vowed he wasn't going to get me books anymore---because I burn through them so quick!!!

Well, through all my years of reading and building up my library, I have had quite a few favorites. 
But there are only a SELECT few that fill my heart to bursting, causing me to want to read them over and over and over. 

I have found a new book to add to that list.

My mom gave it to me to read, to see if it was something she was going to like and be able to get through. (shes not a big reader, nor does she have hardly any 'down' time).
I actually forgot I had this...I found it under the STACK of books on my nightstand...and so I started last night at 12 AM (I couldn't sleep) and 1 AM rolls around and I know I should be sleeping, but I don't want to put it down! and then at 1:30 AM I finished the book. And my heart soared!!! I immediately wanted to re-read it, and last night as I was falling asleep, I played that book through my mind again and dreamed about it. Does that make me weird? If so, then I'm okay with that!


The book takes place probably around the time of Pride and Prejudice and in England as well. On the cover of the book it says "A Proper Romance" and I would have to agree. I have always loved pride and prejudice, but there was always an edge to my love for it.
I am a happy middle/ending kind of girl. My mom calls it "Disney endings". Its true. I love when things work out and make you so happy that you cant help smiling! 
Well this book has just enough go wrong to make you question if things are going to work out the way you want them to, some heartache, and then, of course, the romance. It truly IS a proper romance! There is no stuffiness, no arrogance, no aloofness that there is in Pride and Prejudice--there is just heart warming moments. I love it!
Seriously friends...Mr. Darcy, who?? Its ALL about Phillip. The end.

My suggestion...If you are looking for an easy read, with lots of heart, you should read Edenbrooke. 
Its truly a fantastic book!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

"Garden" Party

In my ward, my calling is Relief Society Night Coordinator.

That's a long name for the person who plans enrichment nights.

I got the calling a year ago when we moved into the ward and was totally overwhelmed by the thought of it. I mean, personally, I had been to maybe 3 enrichment nights since Jace and I had gotten married.
But as the year progressed, and my committee was formed, I became more comfortable with the calling and began looking forward to the next night.

Well, we just had our 1st official enrichment night of the year.
A garden party!! (inside)

Yummy finger sandwiches were made, fresh fruit and light salads were provided, refreshing lemonade served, and a fruit pizza bar laid out.

We have such an influx of new sisters move into the ward, and then of course the women who we don't get to see often in Primary, Nursery, and Young Women's.

I've been in my ward for a year, and I still don't know very many women. I just got a new Visiting teacher and she and i had never officially met!

So I decided I wanted us to do a get to know you night! 
But I wanted it to be different.

The goal was to make them draw a number of a table to sit at for dinner (so they didn't necessarily sit with their normal group of friends) and then they would take turns asking/answering questions about themselves (they were provided).

After they all answered questions at the table, I asked a question like, "Who has broken a bone?" and anyone who raised their hand had to move to a new table and then they repeated the asking/answering question process, but with a new group of sisters!
That way we would cover a much greater amount of new meet and greets!

When I ran the idea by my committee, I was pleasantly surprised with their enthusiastic response! And I have to agree, that the night turned out quite wonderfully. I had trouble getting the ladies to stop talking long enough to explain the games we were going to do! That's what I call a success!! I pretty much love my calling, even if sometimes I don't feel quite up to par with others.
The Lord definitely knows what you need and what others need and he places you in the position to help others and yourself!

Monday, April 1, 2013

That just happened...

SO...i woke up this morning having some...stomach issues.

I've been puking my guts out all day.

However, I remembered (in the nick of time, thank goodness), that my RS "get to know you garden party" THAT I'M IN CHARGE tomorrow.

And I had alot of stuff that I was in charge of buying/preparing/bringing.

So I got myself dressed...and with my puke bucket in hand (or car, as this was) I set out to fulfill my calling.

My first stop was to Superstition Ranch Market for some fresh fruit. 

Now, I'm in sweats, with my hair pilled up on my head in a dirty bun, sans makeup.
I know that I didn't look good on top of the fact of having been bent over a toilet for 7 hours.

However when a teenager (who was not an employee) approached me and called me "Ma'am"...

I was 50% super pleased with this kids manners...and 50% horrified that I'm now qualified as a ma'am. 

No joke. (ha. get it? april fools day?)