Monday, October 28, 2013

4 years!!!!

Wow. You guys.
4 years flew by.
We started dating April 2009, were engaged by June 2009, and married for time and all eternity Oct. 15th, 2009.
1st anniversary _here_
2nd anniversary _here_
3rd anniversary _here_
Our 4th anniversary was a bit different for us. We've been lucky enough to escape for a few days up till this point for our anniversary. However, this year, we had a brother in the ICU and another who left the morning after our anniversary for his mission. We didnt have the opportunity to get away. And that was just fine. We made it work and we had fun here at home :)
I woke up early on our anniversary and cleaned the front of the house.
Then I went in and jumped on Jace in bed to wake him up.
For this anniversary I wasnt quite sure what to do for him...however the night before our anniversary a thought struck me. He has been talking and talking and TALKING about the new Batman video game that is coming out at the end of this month for MONTHS AND MONTHS. I have seen countless videos about it. To say he is excited is putting it mildly. SO....
I sold some of our things on craigslist and on facebook and took that money and went and paid for his pre-order of the video game. The guy at GameStop looked at me and said that this was the most selfless gift I could have given him and that I was the best wife. :) Ah, nerds who love video games.
I wrapped up the reciet telling him that it was paid for, and got a card in which i wrote another 10 things I love about Jace. (I've been doing it for birthday's, valentine's, anniversary's, and christmas' since we started dating)
He loved it and thought that it was awesome.
For me, he completely surprised me and took me shopping to get something silk. Whatever website he looked at for 4 year anniversary's told him that it was a silk anniversary. So we went to about a million different shops to find silk pajamas that would fit my growing baby belly. We found some. And they are so cute!!! I also stopped by something that I would loved to have had, but it was too expensive and i'm practical like that. We left the store, but Jace made me turn around and go buy it. (The lady marked it WAY WAY down for us too). Then we went and had lunch, and then went to Superstition Ranch Market (as per our tradition) and bought our pumpkins for Halloween and my fireplace pumpkins.
Then we went to my brother's setting apart.
It was a very fun day where we just enjoyed being together. It was so weird walking around Tempe Marketplace and 3 different malls together in the DAYLIGHT. That was way fun. :)
Happy 4 years my love. I cant believe we went from this:

to this:

(and a baby in that there belly!)
in a matter of just 4 short years. I cant wait to see what the next 4, 10, 20, 40 will bring us.
I sure love you.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

15 Weeks

How far along? 15 Weeks, 4 days
Total weight gain/loss:  2 lbs up
Maternity clothes? Yes, I have 2 pairs of pants and bought a couple of tshirts last night and I just got a bag full from my cousin to borrow!
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: I fall asleep quickly, but have been having nightmares and not sleeping lately.
Best moment this week: Realizing that I get to go to my Dr. again this next week!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Advil. Serious sadness going on over here.
Movement: Not yet
Food cravings: Had my first craving...a quesadilla from Filibertos. BIG MISTAKE!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Fish, chinese food, raw meat (chicken, beef), and a new development is cheese on a pizza! how sad!!
Have you started to show yet: Yes! Oh my goodness, I started showing SO early
Gender prediction: Girl? Jace says Boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody--i'm not sleeping well!
Looking forward to: finding out the gender and feeling some movement!!!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

14 Weeks!


How far along? 14 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 1-2 lb up
Maternity clothes? 2 pairs maternity pants...and Jace bought me silk pajamas that are HUGE to fit my growing belly!!!
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Falling asleep super quickly, but havent been sleeping well. I cant seem to get comfy or I get too hot!
Best moment this week: We had our 4 year anniversary and Jace surprised me with a couples massage-- mine was a special pre-natal one too! He also took me shopping for silk pajamas. Sweet.
Have you told family and friends: Yes, FINALLY!
Miss Anything? Advil. Serious sadness going on over here.
Movement: Not yet
Food cravings: Nothing really...when someone says something, THEN i'll get a craving.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Fish, chinese food, raw meat (chicken, beef), and a new development is cheese on a pizza! how sad!!
Have you started to show yet: Yes! Oh my goodness, I started showing SO early (bought my maternity jeans at the end of month 1!
Gender prediction: Girl? Jace says Boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy for the most part! We have crazy things going on with my family (brother just got home from 2 week ICU stay for brain surgery, and another brother this week left for a 2 year church mission)...hormones are going a bit crazy!
Looking forward to: finding out the gender and feeling some movement!!!

Dear kind friend,

Dear kind friend,

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I've been a bit preoccupied the last week and so I hadn't gotten the mail for a few days. That's okay, we only ever have junk mail, and bills, so its not like i NEEDED to get the mail.

Last night though, on my way home, I decided it probably needed to be emptied.

When I went to our mailbox a key to one of the "package" mailboxes fell out.

I ordered some maternity garments so I thought they had arrived finally!

When I picked up the box, it was heavy. ???? Not something you expect from a few pairs of light material undergarments.

I opened it immediately when I got inside my home.

And I read the note that popped out:

"If anyone can use some relaxation and reviving, its you. I know how fun it is to get somethign unexpected in the mail, so I wanted to pay it forward. I hope the scent is okay. I've yet to be disappointed, but you are the one that will be burning it. Oh, and Happy Anniversary! "

And I cried. and cried and cried.

I never get anything like this in the mail...ever. And to have someone thinking of made me feel so loved!!! I also love that they knew it was my anniversary. :)

So dear friend, whoever sent this sweet and thoughtful gift and note, THANK YOU! You certainly lifted my spirits and I just want you to know I appreciate it so much. Big hug from me to you!

Monday, October 21, 2013

To say the least

The past 3 weeks have been a time of serious stress over in our neck of the woods.

My oldest brother had brain surgery Oct 1st. He then developed pneumonia and was then in the ICU for 2 solid weeks.

During that time my mother LIVED at the dad was working all day and then going to relieve my mom some nights...and my baby brother was left at home to get ready for his mission.

Of course my mom did a great job getting everything Joe needed for his mission before the surgery. And then I went over a few days and taught Joe how to properly pack everything.

My grandparents flew in on the 11th.

We told friends and family that we were expecting on the 11th and 12th.

Joe had his farewell on the 13th and we had a big open house at my parents that night.

My grandparents left on the 14th and we were hoping to have Randy home. No such luck.

The 15th was our 4 year anniversary (which i will blog about soon!) and that late afternoon Randy came home. That night Joe got set apart as a missionary for our Church.

The 16th I was up at 5:30 AM and on our way to the airport to say goodbye to that little brother of mine for 2 years.

Then I worked...
and worked...and had a such a bad day i was just sure i was going to get fired. (my imagination)
and worked...
and on Saturday the 19th my work put on a big Halloween party for our consumers and their families.

I am exhausted to say the least.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Bear with me

So...i know that this past year most of my posts/LIFE has been consumed with trying to conceive.
Well now that we have, and kept it a "secret" for 13 weeks...
I feel like all i'm posting/talking about is the baby in my belly.
Sue me.
I've waited all my life for this opportunity, and more over, i've waited these last 3 years with Jace.
This post serves 2 purposes:
#1. To apologize in advance...i'm affraid this is what its going to be from now on.
#2. To let out my frustration of not knowing my baby's gender!!! I'm so sick of calling IT!

Happy Friday everyone. Eat some cake.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

13 Weeks

How far along? 13 Weeks, 5 days
Total weight gain/loss: 2 lb up
Maternity clothes? 1 pair of maternity jeans- why don't people normally wear these?! So comfortable!! and 1 pair of maternity dress pants for work.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Still falling asleep way early--guess the little one needs rest! Other than getting up once or twice to go to the bathroom, I sleep great.
Best moment this week: Telling my grandparents, my extended family, Jace's family, and our friends!!!
Have you told family and friends: Yes, FINALLY!
Miss Anything? Advil. Serious sadness going on over here.
Movement: Not yet
Food cravings: Nothing really...when someone says something, THEN i'll get a craving.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Fish, chinese food, raw meat (chicken, beef), and a new development is cheese on a pizza! how sad!!
Have you started to show yet: Yes! Oh my goodness, I started showing SO early (bought my maternity jeans at the end of month 1!
Gender prediction: Girl. Jace says Boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: I've been fairly moody this week.
Looking forward to: finding out the gender and feeling some movement!!!

How I told everyone...


So I'm now 14 weeks pregnant. Can I just say that hiding it was getting fairly hard to do?!

I popped out super early...and we aren't sure why.

It may have something to do with the fact that my body was preparing for 2 babies...and now it only has one? Or maybe this baby is going to be a giant? ...who knows.

My immediate family (mom, dad, and brothers/sister in law) had been UBER involved in our fertility journey. They knew all my often I was taking them...when we had our doctors appointments...and when we would get our results from our doctors. I knew that hiding the pregnancy from them would be next to impossible. Plus, I wanted to talk to my mom if I had any questions.

You all know that I didn't find out on the day I was supposed to and it DROVE.ME.CRAZY. However, I almost think it drove my mom and brother Jeff crazier. Almost.

The next morning when I got the news, (yay!), the luggage we bought for Joe's mission got delivered to our house. So i got a picture frame and wrote, "Reserved for a picture of your future niece or nephew.... Surprise!" I put that in the smallest piece of luggage and nested them all inside one another. We took it over to my parents house that night and the hope was to have Joe open all the sets of luggage to "make sure the zippers worked"...well...its me and my life never goes as planned :)

My dad was helping and talking to someone about their car outside, my mom was trying to leave to go to a relief society event, Jeff was helping get his daughter in her highchair...the only one watching Joe was my SIL. Bless her. Joe read the picture frame, but didn't get it. Melanie squeaked and said "you are?!?!" and started hugging me. My mom finally looked up, Joe read the picture frame again and my mom burst into tears and ran over sobbing and hugging us. My dad even somehow made it in and was grinning from ear to ear. :)

We decided to wait until after the first trimester...just to be as safe as we could be. We knew that the percentage of risk of miscarriage dropped dramatically after the first trimester. However, we both had to tell our bosses and subsequently our co-workers found out. Jace and I had to tell our bosses to get the time off for ultrasounds and doctor's appointments that we needed. Since I started showing so early, my co-workers figured it out pretty quick.

When we finally reached 13 weeks--hello 2nd trimester!--we were excited to start telling people (jace's family especially), but my grandparents were flying in a couple of days later to be here for my brother's mission farewell. I decided that I'd waited 13 weeks...what was 2 more days so I could tell them in person?

I had bought a shirt that said "Coming this Spring" across the middle and wore it under a cardigan that I had buttoned up. I went to my parents house to see them, and my grandpa apparently looked at me and thought "wow she sure looks pregnant"...but graciously didn't say anything. I finally said I have exciting news and showed them my shirt and they were very happy!!! My grandparents were actually very touched that we waited to tell them in person.

After Jace got home that night, I said okay--lets go see your family! (he didn't want to...he was so tired from work) But we went. We tried his brother Josh and his wife first...because I flat out lied to her about being pregnant and have been feeling guilty for about 12 weeks. They weren't home! Jace's other brother and his family were out of town :(, so then we were off to see his parents. I was still wearing my shirt and cardigan, but this time I had a few pictures of Jace and I from our family pictures in Sept for her to "choose from" to update her wall. The last 2 pictures are of us holding a sonogram. One is further away and the last picture is a close up of our then 8 week old baby. While they were looking at the pictures, I had taken my cardigan off. When my mother in law was looking at the far away picture she said, "What is that you're holding?"...while my father in law looked at the last picture. When they realized what it was, I jumped off the couch and showed them my shirt. My mother in law bounded over to me crying, and my father in law got off the couch and embraced his son. It was very sweet and tender. My father in law immediately called his parents and told them the good news. We stayed and told them how far along I was (I'm just 5 weeks behind Jace's sister Jennifer) and everything I had been going through so far with the pregnancy. Jace was so tired that we didn't stay very long and went home. He wanted to tell his cousin, but I figured we'd at least text his siblings first. So i sent out a text to all of them, all of my cousins, and friends. I also hurry and hopped on over to this blog and finally was able to post that post that had been written for about 7 weeks...and linked it to Facebook. After about another hour, we decided to go to bed...we had just settled in when our doorbell rang.


We opened the door and it was Josh and Jamie!!! They were too excited and couldn't wait to come see us. :) They even bought baby its first gift!! A super soft and gender neutral blanket and rattle :) They hung out for about an hour and we discussed the pregnancy, how we kept it a secret (avoidance and big t-shirts), and how happy they were for us.

All in was everything we hoped for. We had so many people who were wanting this for us almost as bad as it was so nice to tell them that we finally had this miracle occur.

Monday, October 14, 2013

12 Weeks!!

How far along? 12 Weeks, 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: 1 lb up
Maternity clothes? 1 pair of maternity jeans- why don't people normally wear these?! So comfortable!! and 1 pair of maternity dress pants for work.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Since we found out I was pregnant, i've been lucky to be awake still at 10 PM (9:30 if i'm being honest). I sleep pretty sound until about 4 or 5 when I have to go to the bathroom, and then have to wake up by 7 AM to take my medicine and get ready for work.
Best moment this week: Our 12 week ultrasound, getting to see the little babe after a 3 week hiatus!
Have you told family and friends: No!--next week!!
Miss Anything? Deli Sandwiches (Firehouse, Neds...oh Neds.), and ADVIL! ugh.
Movement: Not yet
Food cravings: Soft pretzel and cheese. Oh my gosh.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Fish, Chinese food, raw meat (chicken, beef)
Have you started to show yet: Yes! Oh my goodness, I started showing SO early (bought my maternity jeans at the end of month 1!
Gender prediction: Girl. Jace says Boy.
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! But tired...and not wanting to work anymore. LOL
Looking forward to: Finally being able to tell everyone!! (we've been waiting for 2 things: my 1st trimester to be over and for my grandparents to get here (next week!!!!!!)

9 Weeks

Today I had my very last appointment at the fertility center.

I honestly dont know how to express how i'm feeling!

These good people gave me HOPE that i'd become a mom.


They went through 7 months of heartbreak WITH me. I could feel how hard it was on them when they had to give me the bad news...and i even once had one start crying with me while i was on the phone.

I've gone through 2 months now of PURE AND TOTAL joy. When i went in for my first blood test after they called me with the good news...i literally was barrelled over by nurses and assistants giving me hugs and congratulations.

They have always been there. Answering every question i it stupid or valid. They know how rough this was for me and dont make light of anything.

I have felt like i LIVED there...and for a few months, i swear i did. I saw them at least ONCE every WEEK for a solid 8 months. There was the "break month"...where I only saw them twice.

And now...they are booting us out.

In a good way.

Me and the baby are okay--which means that we can move forward with my OB.

How i'll miss these good people! I promised to bring the baby in when its here. :)

And this isnt the last i'll see of them...we'll be back when we are ready to try again. For now though its goodbye--and with the deepest and most heartfelt THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING that i can muster through my tears.

8 Weeks

I'm now officially 8 weeks pregnant! Only 7 more months to go!

The nice thing about doing fertility and then getting pregnant is that you get to have A LOT of ultrasounds right away. 1 every week for the next 4 weeks after you find out your pregnant and after 2 weeks of blood tests.

We just had our 3rd ultrasound. That second sac isn't no twins. BUT I do have a baby in there!!! It went from looking like a line last week, to looking like an actual PERSON this week! Its so incredible!!! You can see the arms and legs very clearly...and the umbilical cord attached to the placenta. Bodies are so amazing...

And boy. That heartbeat? Jace feels like it sounds like a hummingbird. Our hearts are definitely full.

Another plus of finding out that i'm pregnant when i did is that my little brother is leaving on his mission (for the Church-of-Jesus-Christ-of-Latter-Day-Saints) October 16th. So we had him come to a couple of the ultrasounds to see/hear the baby and get to be a part of it while hes gone. The baby will be almost 2 by the time he comes home.

(that happened to Jace...right after he left--December--his brother and his wife adopted a brand new baby (born in March) and his other brother and his wife HAD a baby a year after that. so he came home to a 2 year old niece and a 1 year old nephew!)

GUYS. still doesn't feel real...does it ever?

6 weeks

We had our first ultrasound today!!

We got to hear our baby's heartbeat.

I feel like crying--it was so beautiful.

We also learned that as of right now, i'm pregnant with twins.

I have 2 yolk sacs...but only one has a fetus.

So weird! Apparently this can happen, but most women don't have their first ultrasound until 8 or 10 weeks, so the other yolk gets absorbed by the other fetus if its not viable--so they wouldn't even know they were initially pregnant with twins.

Friday, October 11, 2013

You'll never believe this.


I'm hardly able to believe it myself. Just when we were thinking that this would be our last IUI and then we'd have to take a break and figure things we are! We have a little miracle growing inside of me!

Words can not properly express how I feel...the love and gratitude I have for my Father in Heaven...the love that I have for all those who have prayed for me/us. The outpouring of love and support has been such a blessing to me...helping me carry on when I thought that I could not. I learned so much...that its okay to be sad, that its okay to grieve for something you never had--but wanted, that the Lord will watch over you and that things WILL work out, but maybe not on your timetable or in the way you want/expect...and that I have many who love and support me--even from afar and some that I've never met in person.

While its so exciting, Jace is having a hard time getting too excited yet...he doesn't want this to be a dream!

This is so surreal.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Update on Randy

I'm so thankful to everyone who has expressed concern and love towards my brother and my family.
It has been a very trying experience to say the least.
And its been much harder on my poor parents than on me.
Randy was moved out of the ICU at the end of day 2. It was discovered that he now had pneumonia. His breathing was labored.
 My brother Jeff had been at the hospital, hanging out and watching over Randy from 9-3:30 on Saturday. I took over from 3:30-10 PM. During my time there, a respiratory therapist came in to put a tube down his nose, down his throat, to suck out some of the gunk there that was making it so hard for him to breathe. He resisted of course, and so I held his hand to help calm him down a bit. It seemed to work. She got some, and it helped for awhile. A physical therapist then came in and started moving Randy's arms and legs. He even sat Randy up in bed for a few minutes. I was impressed with Randy--he had just had BRAIN SURGERY for crying out loud!
Randy was fairly alert the whole time i was there. He would frequently open his eyes and look at me and he was trying so hard to get that itchy oxygen mask off his face!
I sat and read him Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone. Not sure if he enjoyed that, but I thought that would be nicer than a noisy TV on in the background.
By 9 O'clock the nurses switched shifts and for the first time since I had been there, they took his temperature :( Turns out the poor guy had a fever! Then they came in to do his medication and she was kind of all over the place. I don't know why, but I checked his catheter to make sure it was still on and it had been pulled out, he was sitting in a wet mess and no one had bothered to check. Then as I was leaving I went to say goodbye to him (my mom came to relieve me) and I noticed that his entire chest was SOAKED. Something was leaking and the nurse didn't check him about that either until I said something. I was so angry at people for not taking care of my brother the way he needed to be taken care of.
By the end of that night, Randy wasn't breathing well at all, and my mom talked to his doctors and they moved him back up into the ICU.
That's where he is now. There really isn't too much new mom said he was kind of out of it today.
Here's hoping that he can come home by this weekend. My grandparents fly in on Friday, Joe has his farewell on Sunday, and he leaves home for 2 years on Wednesday. Crazy town over here people.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Our Journey Part 25

Read previous posts here.

These next 2 weeks were excrutiating.

The nice thing is that we had a few things distract us from WONDERING AND WORRYING.

Joe went through the temple for his own endowment! 
It was so awesome to be there with both of my brothers, Jeff's wife, my husband, both of my parents, Joe's bishop and his wife, my aunt Joyce and uncle Gevan, and cousin 
Brad and his wife Tiffany.
Then we went out to dinner to Matta's (family tradition!) where we met up with my cousin Julie and her two little girls, our niece Jane, and Dr. Garn (my old orthodontist) who we ran in to at the temple. It was super fun.

Joe also has lost like 12-15 pounds by dieting and exercising--getting ready for his mission.

We bought Joe a set of luggage for his graduation/birthday present, but it had to get delivered.

I had A LOT of work to job isnt easy, but it definitely keeps me busy!!

Anyways...our two week wait was OVER.

I went in for my blood test at 7 AM...last time that meant I got my results on my lunch break. It was awful. So I asked that they call me as late as possible with the news...just in case.

Instead I got a call at 1:40 PM...which I couldnt answer since I was at work. They left no message. And by the time I got off work, the office was closed.



Tuesday, October 1, 2013


 This is my brother Randy.
Randy is about the most special person I know.
He is the oldest out of us 4 kids.
And he was a normal, energetic, blonde 4 year old boy, who loved his baby brother Jeff, sesame street, super grover, and zebras.
Then he got sick.
He got a high fever and started having seizures.
To stop the seizures at the hospital, they put him in a drug induced coma.
By the time they brought him out of the coma, Randy was changed.
They aren't sure if it was the fever, the seizures, or the coma, but Randy went from a spunky little kid, to one with major disabilities. He could no longer talk. He could no longer go to the bathroom by himself and had to wear diapers. He had trouble eating so they placed a tube into his stomach.
And he still had seizures EVERY. DAY.
Fast forward to today. Randy is 35. He has been dealing with all of this everyday for the last 31 years. So have my parents.
My brothers and I grew up, not knowing Randy any differently, but loving him just the same.
Randy is our hero.
A truly selfless, caring, loving, humble, celestial being.
And we wish we were a little more like him.
Randy has taught us so many things, like Patience. Humility. Service. Love. Compassion. Strength.
Today, Randy went in to have brain surgery.
He has many different types of seizures every day still.
The doctors think that this operation will be the one to stop the most dangerous of the seizures. Those are his "drop" seizures. The ones that have made it so Randy cant walk anymore. Because if he stands up and then has a seizure it takes him down to the ground and has been responsible for breaking many of his brittle bones.
The surgery they are doing scares me. They are splitting the hemispheres of his brain hoping that that stops his drop seizures.
This could go one of 3 ways.
Either he stays the same and we put him through a horrible surgery for nothing.
He could get worse. The surgery wouldn't have worked and made it so he had less freedom and makes life harder for him and my parents.
Or he could get better. He could stop having the horribly unpredictable and dangerous seizures, and gain mobility back in his legs, and be able to give him more freedom.
We are hoping and praying for the best.
I sure love that brother of mine.