Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Day ONE

First off, i have my next relief society "enrichment" night coming up at the end of August. I had my meeting tonight with my committee and i think its going to be great! Very happy and excited by that.

Second. Today was DAY ONE. Jace threw up twice and I had to take a puff on my inhaler. But i had sweat pouring down my face and my gray tshirt was SOAKED. We'll see how we feel tomorrow when it all starts back up.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Personal Olympian

So. The 2012 Olympics are going on right now in London. 

You already knew that, unless you live under a rock.

and even then, I'm pretty sure you would know.

But what you didnt know was that i have a friend that is in the olympics.

Yeah, you heard me. And not just some girl from my hometown that i'm claiming is a friend.

She grew up in my ward.
I taught her a class in Young Womens.
I was closer in age to her sister kylie.
I lived around the block from her.
I bought her moms pizza dough every Friday for like 6 months.

BREEJA LARSON is MY PERSONAL OLYMPIAN. I am so proud of her!! She did wonderfully and hopefully in 4 more years she'll be able to medal. She caused an ENORMOUS upset when she beat Soni in her event in Omaha. She's AMAZING!!






Friday, July 27, 2012

Getting Serious.

Haha, the last post was about "getting real" and this post is labeled "getting serious". People are going to think that i've forgotten how to have fun or how to be more on the care-free side. Dont worry everyone. I havent!

I have been "getting serious" about my weight. I have taken to making most of our meals, making them with healthy substitutes, making only enough for one serving for me and jace, making sure we have fruits and veggies with our dinner and salads!, making sure i dont buy anything that is labeled "junk food" (we have no crackers, no candy, no soda, no munchies whatsoever in our home on a regular basis, only on occasion), and i have been counting calories like theres no tomorrow.

and ladies and gentlemen...thanks to my PCOS i gained weight.

So. Jace and I are going to try something a bit...extreme if you will. I'll fill you in on the details if it actually works for us. I wont keep you completely in the dark though, i may have a post that mentions how sore i am, or how much weight i've lost (if its any). And i'm hoping that by Christmas, Jace and I will be much better, healthier versions of ourselves.

HERE'S HOPING!!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Let's get real...

There are only a few things in life that have truly frightened me.

Drowning.

Fire.

Never getting married.

Never having kids.

Thats it. That is all my young brain registered as truly scary. I was afraid of the dark, but quickly grew out of that. I was afraid of sharks, and now they are one of my favorite animals. But these four...man, i was hung up on them. 

I remember falling in love and planning a wedding...which then FELL through. My heart broke and i was JUST sure that i was never going to get married. You guys...i was 20. I was SO young. And i know that my irrational fear of drowning is crazy, because lets face it, you'd pass out before you died and in reality there are many worse ways to go.

I still am dealing with the fear of never having kids. But, I know in my heart that God has a plan for me and I should have more faith in that plan. I WILL become a mom...eventually.

I have overcome all of my fears (but one) and instead have now replaced them all with one big one.

CANCER.

My experience with cancer is quite vast actually. My grandpa died when I was 5 to prostate cancer. My Aunt died when i was 12 to pancreatic cancer. My mother almost died when i was 19 thanks to breast cancer. It was sneaky. My Uncle died when i was 22 to colon cancer that went undiagnosed and then metastasized to his bones. My father-in-law went in for a physical last year so they could go on a mission. They found prostate cancer. (hes okay right now, and loving his mission). My mom got tested last year to see if she had the breast cancer gene (and so us kids can get tested) and she doesnt. But she did test positive for ovarian cancer gene. Which meant a hysterectomy right away for her. Which means that I am at 50% chance for both breast and ovarian cancers. At 25 years of age.

Since a young age, I have dealt with death. Its hard, and scary, and sad. I am well acquainted with dealing with funerals, grief, and those who are grieving. I remember that was hard for my husband...he hasn't dealt with death like me.

Its a touchy subject for me. I know what cancer can do. I know that it can sneak up on you and almost tear your family apart. I know that it can be a long, painful, and hard battle to live (my mom and uncle)...and i know that i hate it. More than anything in the world, and it also scares me. I am now worried that I'll have to have a hysterectomy well before i should. My moms doctors suggest that i have my kids as soon as possible and then have the surgery. They are talking about me in 5-10 years. I'm worried that I wont get to do all that I want to, that I wont be there for my husband, that we wont get to start the family we want so desperately. 

Every day, I wake up with these thoughts, somewhere down in my subconscious. I am not letting it stop me from living my life now, or even letting it into my conscious thoughts on a regular basis. But deep down its a real, terrifying, bone-chilling fear. One that, especially when i am sad or having a hard time with things, seems to rear its ugly head.

Last night we watched an indie film. I should know better by now. We have watched 3 in the past 6 months. I have hated all 3. They get "too real". Someone always dies at the end. 2 movies ago was about a girl and her husband...they found out they couldn't get pregnant...and then she dies. Hitting a little close to home there. And last nights movie...i picked it out because it was labeled a romantic comedy. LIES. This girl has yet to find love in life (shes in her 30s), and then gets COLON cancer. The movie follows her as she goes through the pain of chemo and finding that the cancer has metastasized and further treatment was not going to work. It followed her grief and anger, as her parents struggle to come to terms with whats happening, her friends trying to be brave for her (and some failing), and then she falls in love. Just in time to die.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This is not entertainment. My husband can attest to this. Watching your spouse bawl for a solid 30 minutes is not a happy thing. 
Its too real. Its so scary. I hate cancer.
The end.


  


Monday, July 16, 2012

Andrea's Mailbag!

Dear Rain:
You may stay. Humidity, there's the door. Let it hit you on the way out.
Sincerely,
Andrea's Frizzy Hair

Dear Crockpot:
You beautiful thing you. My roast was divine. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Happy and Full Stomache and Delighted Tastebuds

Dear QT:
Your ice is helping to take me to my happy place.
Sincerely,
Its Too Dang Hot and Humid

Dear Spiders that are lurking outside:
I know i keep destroying your homes...but could you please not launch your attack on me in my house? I'm barely keeping up with you outside.
Sincerely,
Me and my Broom

Dear Inventors of the Recliner aka Edward Knabusch and Edwin Shoemaker:
You are my heroes. You lazy men you.
Sincerely,
Fellow Lazy Person

Dear Future Children:
You will never wear/own socks.I'm sorry. I can barely keep up with your future daddy's dirty ones. ALL OVER MY HOUSE.
Sincerely,
Your Mom--haha :)

Dear "Youths" that stole my Bob Worsley signs from my yard:
"How dare you". (If you can guess what TV shows the word and phrase are from you get a gold star)
Sincerely,
Annoyed

Dear any Candy that comes Individually Wrapped:
You are no longer welcome in my home. You fail to throw yourself away and apparently Jace cant throw you away either. You are taking up residence on my tables and couches without even the courtesy of paying rent. YOU. ARE. BANNED!
Sincerely,
Not yo' maid

Dear Veggies:
Taste better. I need to eat more of you. Kthanksbye.
Sincerely,
Fruit Lover

Dear Self:
You volunteered to sing with your mom in her ward yesterday. You know how nervous you get performing in front of others. You wacko. Its a good thing it went smoothly.
Sincerely,
Your Surprised Self

Friday, July 13, 2012

New things on the Horizon...

It never EVER seems like anything is new with me and jace.

we get up in the morning, go to work, i try and make dinner, we clean up, we watch our "stories" (any tv show we like, jace has now started to call stories, like soap operas. geez.), and then we go to bed and do it all again.

but i forget that there are little changes here and there, new things that we have discussed that will change or impact our lives in some way.





jace is interviewing for a promotion at the end of the month/beginning of august. his boss' have already said that he is doing extremely well and they "have plans for him". we are excited because of the pay increase. because if i continue working, most of my income can go towards paying down our debt and increasing our savings.



we are also excited for the promotion because it will be a jumping point for other career paths at wells fargo. can i just tell you how happy i am that my husband has finally found his niche? he really loves wells fargo and the opportunities they have. he is really interested in advancing his career to their insurance division (since he was an insurance agent). i love that hes happy and feeling productive. it also helps that he loves the people he works with.

we have a ginormous goal of paying off our debt and getting pregnant in the next year.


we are switching our health insurance up in the next month or so, and that should be a giant stepping stone to helping us have a baby.

we have decided that we love our apartment. it really feels much more like a home than an apartment. we have also decided that we are comfortable living here and saving up for a house later on. and since then we are re-arranging and fixing the apartment to really work for us.

i'm trying to get a wall sink put in, so my clients dont have to hang their heads into our shower.

i'm contemplating getting another part time job, in tandem with my job at the jewelry store and doing hair.

i've decided on a color, and we are going to be painting our home...sometime in the near future!

SO.
while not much goes on in the day to day, there ARE new things coming up in our lives and big decisions to make, and we are excited.




Tuesday, July 10, 2012

one of the more embarrassing moments i've had...

i could probably write a whole  book about my embarrassing moments.

not even joking.

my journal can attest to this.

i've decided to "share" some of my "favorites".

and when i say favorites i mean, "at the time, i felt like i was going to die...and i'm trying to grow from these experiences"...

#1. THE CHEERLEADER EFFECT.


All of my friends were trying out for 9th grade cheer. I was not. It wasn't my thing. But i said that I'd help them with their moves. One of them was to be held up by a couple of boys with the girls doing other stuff in front of me. Troy and Ted were the big, strong boys...and things were going great. Until my spotter in front of me disappeared.  No lie. And it wouldve been okay, except one of the boys didnt have a good grip on me. And down i went. On my head. On the ground. And i blacked out for a few min. And that is how i got my first concussion.

#2. BLACK EYES.
My first two black eyes (yes, i have had more than 2) were from totally lame reasons and completely self inflicted. Yes. You read that right. My first was when i was 8 years old. We had just moved into our "new" home and i wasnt used to the turns it took to get back to my room. I woke up in the middle of the night to the tv on in the family room. When i got there my dad was watching tv and told me to get back to bed. So i set off at a jog (dont ask me why, i have no idea) and ran smack dab into the corner of the wall. OUCH.
My second black eye was when i was 11. It was my first trip anywhere without my parents. I was at EFY all the way in Provo Utah. I had a hanging suitcase that my mom made me bring that had a GIANT hook on the end. I was trying to carry it all the way to my dorm by myself and wacked myself in the eye. Resulting in a HUGE black eye for the entire week at EFY. And seeing as i was still too young for makeup, i have a nice shiner in all of my pictures.

#3. SPEEDY GONZALES no MUCHO.
My first official ticket was not in car. Oh no. That would be too normal and not as embarrassing. Instead i was 14 and on a wave runner on the lake in my grandparents backyard. I was underage, even though i was following all of the rules of the water perfectly. Resulting in a hefty ticket for my grandpa who i was staying with. But as i like to remind my Grandpa Lee...i WAS wearing my life jacket so i did get that free ice cream cone from DQ. My grandpa now refers to me as "The Fellon".

#4.  BF STALKER HELPER.
My best friend is awesome. I love Katie. I also love that she had "fallen" for this super cute guy she passed at ASU all the time about 4 years ago. Never mind the fact that she didnt know who he was, and had never talked to him at all. She was smitten. And turned all out creeper. Like, sneakily taking a picture of him on her phone to send to me. Like, making up names for him. Like positioning herself before her class, to where she would run into him creeper. And i thought it was AWESOME. Seriously. So i made her a deal. I would go to campus and she would point him out and i would approach him and make him take a fake survey that i had made up--that got all the good info we needed (ie, was he single? how old was he? what was his major? did he like girls that made the first move?) And after i made him take his survey i would leave, give her a thumbs up or down and she would walk up to him and give him her number. YOU GUYS. i actually did this! But katie got nervous and didnt stick to the plan and walked up before i was done. And then turned around after giving him her number and RAN AWAY. Leaving me there standing with him, after she just said that it was a sham. And do you know what i did? I said, "that concludes the survey, thank you for your time." yeah. that was crazy.

#5. THE BELLY TOUCH AND GIGGLE.
Admit it. You are scared to hear this one. I had gained some weight, thanks to my PCOS, and had a pooch. Jace and i ran into an old friend from jr high days at Christmas time. She was so excited to see us and that we had gotten married. THEN in slow motion (or so it seemed), she looked down at my pooch (i had only gained 15 pounds) and touched my belly and giggled her excitement that i was expecting to soon. Enter mortification here. I was too shocked to say anything, and she was then pulled away. I looked at Jace and asked if that really happened? He assured me it did, and voiced his comment "I thought girls were supposed to be smarter than that? Like its an unwritten rule, right?" I died.

This now concludes this session of "Andrea's embarrassing Moments". Trust me, there are plenty more if you haven't had your fill yet. :)