Thursday, June 7, 2018

Pet People

I have about 5 blog posts in drafts and 1 in my head.

I'm in a deep funk and finishing them is just not a priority.

However, as we have hit a new milestone in our lives, I figured I'd hurry and share.

We are now pet owners!

Meet Thor. The neediest, cuddliest, cutest part Siamese kitten we adopted from our neighbors!

I promise I have tons of video of Nash and Jace with him too--but they are on my phone transferring to Dropbox as I type.




When we got married we had beta fish at the reception. We kept 2 and my parents kept 2 (we didnt think it through before we did it! lol) I tried with all my stinking might to keep those guys alive. And I failed. I dont even understand it.

Then in 2011/2012? Jace was feeling the push to get a pet. We both worked long hours and were in an apartment...so he decided we needed a robo hamster. You guys. Jace never took care of that thing. And it was the size of my thumb. A cute thing to look at but thats all it was good for. Then I was the only one taking care of it and they only are supposed to live 2-3 years. Pepper Potts got sickly and died close to having her for 2.5 years.

We have now lived in our home for 3 years and we have a 4 year old. You would have thought we would have a pet by now (no more fish or rodents for me!) and jace wasnt keen on the idea of a cat. But every time we thought about a dog, I just didnt have a good feeling--its just not the time. Plus nash loves dogs from far away and not so much up close. He LOVES cats.

So when our neighbors had kittens, we started seriously talking about it. Then they said they had a white one and I've always dreamed of a white cat with blue eyes. So without seeing him we said we would take him. When we finally got over there to see him...I was surprised to find that he was a Siamese!! Still pretty and has beautiful blue eyes.

Its been an adjustment. I've been putting him in the laundry room (which is quite large) at night so I dont have to worry about accidents (working on litter training still) or our couches getting scratched up or our sleep being disturbed. He hasnt loved it. About 5 AM he starts crying and it wakes me up, but he wants to PLAY and there is just no way that is happening. lol

We have swim lessons in the mornings and I feel guilty about leaving him locked up again, so yesterday he went and played at my parents and today my brother came to play with him. LOL I'm ridiculous.

We keep calling him..."her". Hopefully we will get the hang of that.

And Nash is learning responsibility of being in charge of playing with him some.

Pray that I get the hang of this and Thor mellows a bit. :)

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Still alive over here

Well...happy new year, happy valentines day, happy st. patricks day, happy birthday to Nash, happy conference, and happy Easter! LOL

Thats all gone down since I wrote last...AT CHRISTMAS. Goodness me.

I still have those blog posts in draft. FYI.



We have been in the thick of life over here. I'm still posting some on my Instagram and Facebook, but I've cut WAY WAY WAY back on that too.


I'm struggling to find balance in my life. Balance in my home life, balance with technology, balance as a working mom. Nash will be starting pre-school this year and while I'm doing cartwheels (figuratively, because...DIZZY) somedays, other days I want to bawl my eyes out at how fast he is growing up.


He asked me yesterday why I get sad that he is growing up. The fact that he asked that question was actually the answer! How? How did this happen so fast?


Work is good--again, the balance thing.


Jace has taken on a second job M-S! :(  Our goal is to pay down our credit card debt ASAP. My brother and his wife bought us tickets to Dave Ramsey's Smart Money Tour last year and while we arent 100% insanely on board....we pretty much have been converted and have been working hard to change our present, so our future is 100% OURS to decide on. And the future of our son is that he will see how hard we worked to get out of debt and STAY out of debt and the goal is to pass that on to him.

We have had our fair share of sickness since Christmas too. Mostly me. Dang crappy immune system.



And I'm still at a loss over our continued infertility. I feel so alone and sad most of the time. I have no one to talk to and everytime I come on here thinking I might say what I'm feeling, I get all in my head about what people will say. So then I dont, and I continue feeling sad and alone.

Good times.



Anyways, just wanted to say we are still here....still alive....just living and working and growing old. :)

Friday, December 22, 2017

Merry Christmas 2017

You haven't heard from me in {quite} awhile!! Did you miss me?

I have about 5 or 6 blog posts that are in draft...I just cant seem to find the motivation or time to finish them off. I've been a bit overloaded with work and life and when that happens it is all I can do to get through my day doing what i HAVE to do, and leaves very little time for what i may WANT to do, like updating this blog.

I am taking the next week and a half off work. I wont be answering emails, or doing any photoshoots whatsoever. Vastly different from last year! Last year I worked up to the 23rd and then started again on the 27th. In the week from Christmas to New Years, I had 4 photoshoots!! I have nothing scheduled so I can refocus my mind and soul and spend some MUCH needed quality time with my husband and sweet sweet son.

I just wanted to pop on and wish everyone a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS from my family to yours. I hope you take some time to enjoy the moment and not be so frazzled that you miss the important things--and of course to remember the reason for the season--our dear Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Loves!!


Friday, September 22, 2017

Heart

Tonight my heart hurts and my eyes brim with tears.

I am longing for another little one to join our family.

I cry while holding my Nash...he is getting so big, so grown up, so fast.

I feel that I am not done having children.

I fear that my window is closing.

I long for the day that I can give Nash a sibling. He would love that so much. A buddy.

Infertility is the worst.

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Still alive

Its been 2 months since I last posted.

I've been in the throws of life. And right now, I tell you, life is giving me a run for my money!!

I was sick for the entire month of July.

We are in the middle of refinancing our home which is a huge long pain in the behind.

I've been trying to make summer fun for Nash.

I've also been trying to compile "homeschool" curriculum to do with him this next year until he goes into preschool.

I am in the middle of planning a giant surprise party.

My business is SLOW as everyone has been on vacation and then getting into school starting. Its been stressing me out.

My first car, cozey, is due for registration AND emissions. My father is a mechanic...and no matter what we do, she wont pass emissions. Too many things wrong with her to try to fix because she isnt worth all that time and money. So I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to figure out what to do. And every person I talk to either has no idea or they all give me different instructions. I'm thoroughly confused.

With everything going on, my anxiety is UP UP UP. Working on that. Have had some days where I just sit and watch movies and play trains with Nash because I cant make myself go out and "be productive".

I also have been in the middle of a bathroom reno that I'm doing all on my own. I cant expand it yet ($$$!) but have plans to do it in the not too horribly distant future. However, I've sanded and painted, replaced and fixed, and currently I'm in the middle of doing a custom floor. I've learned lots of new skills.

AND we just got back from Jace's VanWagoner family reunion up in Ogden. It was Nash's first time meeting them, and my first time seeing most of them since basically our wedding. Yikes, thats a long time! It was alot of driving, and Nash did great. It was good fun to see them all. Also, I drove through Salt Lake for the first time and lived to tell the tale. Utah drivers and my anxiety...it could have been interesting. Lol

Anyways, thats whats new here. I've sat down to write multiple times but just havent. I also havent updated my social media either. I will try to do better. But if you dont see anything from me, its probably because I'm overwhelmed and eventually I'll emerge.

Oh! and Happy Birthday today to our nephew Corbin! #9!

Saturday, June 24, 2017

A series of Unfortunate Events

It started with an ache.

My forearm was throbbing a bit.

I didnt think anything of it and continued about my day. We went to the library, I played with Nash, I cleaned a little...nothing out of the ordinary. I had a photoshoot cancellation for the next day...bummer. 

Then the ache and throbbing slowly ran up my arm into my shoulder. I could no longer move my arm without immense pain. 

Weird, because I cant think of anything I might have done to cause this. Started to be glad for the photo shoot cancellation.

It was bad enough, that I couldn't put my car into gear...I couldn't lift my arm that high.

I went to my parents house, where I was given a Priesthood blessing and a sling.

I went home and putting Nash to bed took 3 times as long without the use of my right (dominant) arm.

I took Ibuprofen and waited for Jace to come home.

We stayed up way too late watching American Ninja Warrior...almost 1 AM.

In bed, I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep, my arm hurt.

After about an hour, I sat bolt upright with a new pain. A sharp pain. My back was on fire and it felt like pins and needles were in two different parts of my back.

I birthed a child, so this was not the worst pain I have felt. But I havent felt this kind of pain before. It was new and scary. 

Jace started rubbing my shoulder thinking I pinched a nerve, and thats when he noticed the welts.

He started tearing apart our bed while I was concentrating on my breathing.

And then he found the source of my new pain. An unwelcome guest. The evil scorpion himself.

A FREAKING SCORPION WAS IN MY BED, I HAD NO IDEA, AND I ROLLED OVER ON HIM AND HE FREAKING STUNG ME TWICE, AND I STILL HAD NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!


I fear scorpions. Alot. I didnt grow up ever seeing one. Never knew what to experience. 

Pain. Pain is what you experience. Thankfully I didnt have an allergic reaction, so all I had to worry about was the pain.

Well, pain and now fear of my house and room. Every surface, every carpet, every tile in my home--is the exact color of the smooshed scorpion that Jace carried out on the bottom of his shoe.


I couldnt move. My back hurt so much, that I almost forgot that I could barely move my right arm. ALMOST. 

I sat up, on the edge of my couch, messaging my other photoshoot client that I wouldnt be able to do their shoot that afternoon, and watching pointless shows until 7 AM. Then I slowly made my way into my room and tried to sleep. 10-15 minute increments were all I could do. Nash was up for the day before 8 (poor Jace). We have season tickets for tonights Dbacks game. Will I be able to go? I dont know. 

One thing I do know? In less than 24 hours i became unable to use my right arm, lost 2 clients (until i reschedule), and rolled over on a scorpion that caused me to not sleep and be in pain.

This now ends Andrea's saga of unfortunate events of last night.

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Week 4

Well, here it is. The last weekly update that i'm gonna make myself do :) I'm sure to check back in and let you know my progress at some point.

I had my weigh in yesterday. Down another pound. That's 6 pounds in 4 weeks exactly.

Not my best--but also not bad.

This last week, I finished my period FINALLY, had an ultrasound on my thyroid, did a fasting glucose test, and was exhausted.

I had my follow up appointment today with my endocrinologist.

The ultrasound on the thyroid showed 2 small nodules--neither of them big enough to even biopsy so shes not worried about them. I'll get another ultrasound in a year to make sure they aren't growing. If they are, then there is a VERY SLIM chance that the biopsy would show cancer. She isn't worried, and neither am I.

My fasting glucose reading was great, however the draws at 1 and 2 hours were not. I wasn't allowed to take my metformin that day and what it showed was that i was in the "pre-diabetic" range. She told me that she is calling me Insulin Resistant and that I'll probably have to take metformin for the rest of my life.

I'll go in and see her before the end of the year and we'll check my progress on the weight loss and possibly do more blood work to see how everything is changing.

All in all, not a bad appointment.