I knew being a mom would be time consuming.
I knew that this little human I helped create would be my world.
But holy cow.
I had no idea. Not really. And I dont think you ever do until you go through it.
Nash has been such a joy. Seriously. I love that little guy more than I ever thought possible. Even when its 4 AM and hes been screaming for hours and I cant seem to figure out whats going on and I want to kill him...I love him.
I have multiple posts about separate things in regards to motherhood and Nash all set up and in my drafts. I have started multiple projects like these blog posts, only to get pulled away by my colicky, refluxy, baby who doesn't nap well at our house (my moms house or even my cabin is another story). For now, here is what is going on in our lives.
Nash is now 10 (TEN!) weeks old. He has gained SO much weight! He started off at 4 lbs 6 ounces from the time we left the hospital to 9 lbs 4 ounces last week at his doctor appointment. He has now officially caught up to term babies in the weight department.
Jace has been the only banker at his branch for the last 2 months. The other kid (23 years old) got diagnosed with colon cancer and is going through treatments. So sad for him. So sad for us! Jace is never home it seems and that has been HARD. Harder than I could ever imagine. He never sees Nash, and its almost bedtime by the time he gets home. Then he leaves early. Our relationship has suffered as well. Its hard to be a mostly single parent. I dont know how others do it!! Jace and I are working on a better system though, so we can be there for each other. Jace also just celebrated his 27th birthday :)
I am so blissfully happy and excruciatingly tired. My parents have been lifesavers (especially my mom). Most days I go over and she helps me watch Nash while I pump. There have also been a couple of nights where I have stayed over and she has gotten up with Nash so I could sleep, or has gotten up with me so she could feed him while I pumped. Life. Saver.
I have been almost exclusively pumping my breast milk because Nash wouldnt latch. I have a whole seperate blog post about pumping...but let me leave you with this. If it wasnt so wonderful for him, I would hate it with the most violent passion.
I celebrated my first mothers day as a mom. And it was so happy to not be so bitterly sad on that day.
Nash was also blessed at church and I only got to hear maybe half of the blessing. Another blog post for that.
My health still hasn't returned...in fact last week I had to go in and see a cardiologist. I'm on ANOTHER new blood pressure medication, and have done an EKG, a chest xray, blood draws, and am now scheduled for an ECHO cardiogram. This has made motherhood/being alive about 10 times harder.
Now, please excuse me while I use the next 10 minutes to get semi dressed (pregnancy yoga pants, and a pregnancy top...because while I've lost 26 pounds--I still have 9 more to go and a quite the pooch just sitting there.) and try to eat something before Nash wakes up from his 20 minute afternoon nap.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel Marathon
3 months ago