December already?

Today is the 3rd of December. I can honestly say that part of me cant believe it and another part feels like this was the longest year ever.

After going through fertility treatments and having to stop them midway through the year because of now needing surgery....its been a long 7 months. It doesnt help either that everyone I know has gotten pregnant in that time. I'm not even joking. My cousin has gotten pregnant twice now since i stopped treatment. she lost the first pregnancy early and now is pregnant with twins. i have 7 other friends announce their pregnancies in the last few months...and one is close to giving birth to her naturally conceived twins.

I've done my fair share of feeling pretty jealous if I'm being honest, and frustrated and angry that its not me. But I also havent dwelled on it. I'm feeling pretty proud about that. I allow myself to feel the feeling and work through it...normally takes a day or 2...and i've been able to let the anger go. I think that might be a small (large) miracle from God.

I've been pretty busy the last month mostly with my photography. I'm so blessed with so many returning clients and new clients as well! I also have alot of newborns that were born and are about to be born!

I was handling things so well too. I went and took nash to see santa already, we set up and did christmas card pictures, i got those ordered, AND sent out. My mom and I cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal and put it on this year. In November I had 30 photoshoots. I was staying up almost every night till 1 or 2 am to keep up on editing. I stopped biting my nails. Still going strong on that one. My house is decorated for Christmas and almost all of our outside lights are up. We got Christmas out of my parents basement and attic for them too.

I'M NOW SICK. Its all caught up to me. My face is broken out and I had a canker sore to start me off. Now i feel like i'm dying. I'm going to the doctor later today. Tomorrow I'm supposed to decorate a table and make a dinner salad for our Relief Society event as well. :/ I've got to learn to relax a bit during this season!

A series of Unfortunate Events

It started with an ache.

My forearm was throbbing a bit.

I didnt think anything of it and continued about my day. We went to the library, I played with Nash, I cleaned a little...nothing out of the ordinary. I had a photoshoot cancellation for the next day...bummer. 

Then the ache and throbbing slowly ran up my arm into my shoulder. I could no longer move my arm without immense pain. 

Weird, because I cant think of anything I might have done to cause this. Started to be glad for the photo shoot cancellation.

It was bad enough, that I couldn't put my car into gear...I couldn't lift my arm that high.

I went to my parents house, where I was given a Priesthood blessing and a sling.

I went home and putting Nash to bed took 3 times as long without the use of my right (dominant) arm.

I took Ibuprofen and waited for Jace to come home.

We stayed up way too late watching American Ninja Warrior...almost 1 AM.

In bed, I wasn't sure how I was going to sleep, my arm hurt.

After about an hour, I sat bolt upright with a new pain. A sharp pain. My back was on fire and it felt like pins and needles were in two different parts of my back.

I birthed a child, so this was not the worst pain I have felt. But I havent felt this kind of pain before. It was new and scary. 

Jace started rubbing my shoulder thinking I pinched a nerve, and thats when he noticed the welts.

He started tearing apart our bed while I was concentrating on my breathing.

And then he found the source of my new pain. An unwelcome guest. The evil scorpion himself.

A FREAKING SCORPION WAS IN MY BED, I HAD NO IDEA, AND I ROLLED OVER ON HIM AND HE FREAKING STUNG ME TWICE, AND I STILL HAD NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED!

I fear scorpions. Alot. I didnt grow up ever seeing one. Never knew what to experience. 

Pain. Pain is what you experience. Thankfully I didnt have an allergic reaction, so all I had to worry about was the pain.

Well, pain and now fear of my house and room. Every surface, every carpet, every tile in my home--is the exact color of the smooshed scorpion that Jace carried out on the bottom of his shoe.

I couldnt move. My back hurt so much, that I almost forgot that I could barely move my right arm. ALMOST. 

I sat up, on the edge of my couch, messaging my other photoshoot client that I wouldnt be able to do their shoot that afternoon, and watching pointless shows until 7 AM. Then I slowly made my way into my room and tried to sleep. 10-15 minute increments were all I could do. Nash was up for the day before 8 (poor Jace). We have season tickets for tonights Dbacks game. Will I be able to go? I dont know. 

One thing I do know? In less than 24 hours i became unable to use my right arm, lost 2 clients (until i reschedule), and rolled over on a scorpion that caused me to not sleep and be in pain.

This now ends Andrea's saga of unfortunate events of last night.

Life Lately and Random Thoughts

My brother Randy is in the ICU again with pneumonia and RSV.

I swear this has been one of the worst seasons for illness'. Nash just got over a 2 week horrible cough only to get what seems to be a cold. Jace had a cold that went into a sinus infection, i got a cold, joe and dad and jeff's whole family has been sick too. I have had 8 past newborn clients with babies who have RSV.

We just need it to go away!! Hopefully Randy will be out of the hospital and home soon. Poor bud. He has been so sick, for so long recently.

Its been rainy and cold, which hormonal hot Andrea loves, but her poor sick family has not loved so much. Nash hasnt gotten to be outside very much in the last 3 weeks. Every time I let him outside he started running or jumping and it started his horrible cough that he couldnt stop. So I basically have a bit of cabin fever going on.

We had friends over for the first time last week for dinner and games. They have 5 kids! and I gotta admit, it was a bit stressful at first. :) But fun. Shoot. I even won all 3 games and that has never happened in my entire life.

Jace has some health issues. His triglycerides are like quadruple the normal level, he has high cholesterol, and who knows what else. We are changing diets and thought processes over at our house. I hope he can get on board, because his life literally depends on it.

My blood pressure has been up and down (literally, like dwight schrute i can feel my blood pressure rising and falling ((he just commands it)) ).

My primary doctor put me back on medication before the holidays and I finally got to see my cardiologist today. The EKG looks great, we are going to do another ECHO but he doesnt think anything is wrong with my heart. Just like some women who develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy and then type 2 diabetes, women who have preeclampsia sometimes develop high blood pressure for life. It isnt fair, but mine is easily controlled with a small dose of medication, so my doctor is considering it a win. 

Also, his computer looked like this: "patient is obese"

and then I wanted to run out of the office crying and felt this overwhelming cloud of shame fly over me. I finally found an endocrinologist that i think will be able to help me get my hormones and insulin levels stablized. My last doctor wasnt helpful and wouldnt even see me (i saw his PA). The hardest part about this weight gain is THAT IT IS NOT MY DIET! I actually eat pretty healthy. I am pretty active as well. I eat small portions. But thanks to the flip flop of my insulin levels, no matter what I do without proper medication and a specialized diet I will not lose weight. But doctors dont know that. They just see the number, the BMI, and tell you to lose weight and sometimes make you feel really crummy. (My cardiologist didnt make me feel awful by any means, hes a sweet guy--but he still looked at the number and said LOSE WEIGHT.)

It was 3 years ago this week that I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. So weird.

I have a Relief Society night coming up next week that I'm in charge of decorating for. I'm a little stressed.

I have multiple newborn shoots this week. also stressful.

I accidently skipped my annual womens exam last year so i have that this week too.

Our tax appointment is the 14th and I've done NOTHING to prepare yet. Its always me too, Jace has no idea what would be needed or what to do. I take care of it. Stress!!

And my baby turns 3 in just 17 days. And I want to cry lots and lots of tears.

The end.

Life lately

Well...the life of boring/weird continues.

I started having horrible migraines and feeling super nauseous so I went to my doctor. Turns out I had a horrible sinus infection. Apparently I've had multiple sinus infections right after another and my doctor is concerned that my deep sinuses are not draining properly. I have been on antibiotics and about a thousand other medications and it hasn't stopped my symptoms. Lucky me...I now get to go in and have a CT SCAN and get to follow up with a neurologist. Because I'm cool like that. :/ I've also developed another infection thanks to the antibiotics. Good times.


Nash got sick 1 day after me. He had a horrible time breathing, runny nose, and was complaining about his throat. He had strep over Labor day so I was getting worried. We took him in and...guess what?! Sinus infection. Come on!! He is the worst sleeper when he is sick and I've been up with him like 3 times a night for the past week. The antibiotic is definitely working though, his head has been clearing out. Hes gone through like a box of Kleenex.


Jace has been having a rough go at work lately. I'm sure everyone has heard of the drama with Wells Fargo. If not, let me sum up super quickly. A bunch of employees over the years made accounts for people without their permission because Wells Fargo had such high expectations that the employees (in most cases anyways) felt they had to do that to keep up. Well, crap hit the fan. Thousands of employees were fired. There was a 184 million dollar lawsuit. The CEO has been called before Congress (he got ripped apart). And now they are having to change LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Jace is having a tough time knowing what his job is now...he is in charge of retail banking at his branch...and they arent doing retail anymore. And since this is all happening on the fly there has been no direction from the higher ups yet. Its been tough.


My brother randy woke up yesterday having trouble breathing and his nailbeds were blue. My mom and dad took him to the ER and he was admitted with pneumonia. Poor guy. Last time he had pneumonia he was in the hospital for a week.



and thats us right now!

blah. On the plus side...i bought a ton of winter clothes for nash and they should be here next week! he is now the same size as his older cousins...so we wont be getting too many hand me downs anymore. I also bought our Christmas ornaments...because i spent alot of time at the doctors and they are next to Hobby Lobby. Sue me!

Nash's new favorite show on Netflix is Mickey's House of Villians, he is 100% using a booster like a big kid, he would rather skip breakfast and then eat a huge lunch, and he is super allergic to mosquitoes just like me--which makes sense since we are the same blood type and life is cruel. Ha! This weather has been awful, everytime we step outside we are both swarmed!

Cabin Fever

Honest moment here.

I am on day 6 of some horrible sickness. It keeps morphing. First it was just my throat. It was so bad though, my doctor was most confident it was strep. Gave me antibiotics.

Next day I wake up so beyond achy that I barely got myself out of bed and was able to keep Nash alive. The congestion then set in.

Wednesday the sore throat went away and a deep cough set in. Now I cant breathe, have a cough, sneezing like crazy, and still achy.

Yesterday Nash was so over being in our home and not having mommy play with him. He literally grabbed my keys, said "car, gramma". So we went to see them before they left that day WITHOUT us on our vacation. :(  

Today I still feel like garbage. Cough, stuffy, headache, my throat hurts again (from coughing), and SORE. 

Nash isnt the only one with cabin fever though.

I saw something online a few months ago about a calming sensory bottle DIY. I had something similar, not for calming me down per say, but I remember loving watching that thing. So I bought a water bottle and some glue a month ago with every intention of making one for Nash.

This year has really kicked my booty. I am normally so organized and on top of things, it bugs people. Seriously. But this year has been all about surviving my life. I've found that I have had to let go of alot of expectations of myself because I literally cant find away around it in my head. I've done alot of good and stayed on top of the important things--I dont want it to sound like I've been stuck in a hole and i cant/havent been taking care of my home or my son. But things like crafting? That went right out the window when Jace's addiction came to light. It was an unnecessary thing that could potentially cause me MORE stress.

WELL, since i was stuck at home on my "vacation" and cooped up in my house...i stared at the water bottle and glue and just kicked myself. I knew it would be a fast project. So i did it. I made the sensory bottle. And it took 8 minutes. THATS IT. good grief. 

Ingredients: 

• VOSS water bottle (it has the best shape/cap to do this with)
• Elmers glue in CLEAR or sparkly
• Warm water
• Glitter (different kinds if desired)
• Confetti shapes (i didnt have any on hand)
• Food coloring (if you want/if you use CLEAR glue)
• Super glue

Directions:

• I peeled the VOSS sticker off my bottle and cleaned it up.
• Next I used 3/4 of a CLEAR bottle of elmers glue.
• I filled the water bottle up to about an inch from the top with warm water.
• Then i put in 4 drops of blue food coloring. 

::sidenote:: I was planning on using black glitter and so I should have gone a little easier on the food coloring. Maybe 2 drops would have been enough. My end color is darker than I wanted.

• After I did the food coloring, I added my desired amounts of white, black, and silver glitter.
• Put on cap tightly and SHAKE. ALOT.
• I realized that I wanted more silver specks; so I put more in, put on the cap, and shook it again. 
• It was what I wanted, so I took the cap off, super glued around the top of the bottle, and put the cap back on TIGHTLY. 
• I waited an hour and gave it to my 2 year old.
• He loves it.

Sicker than sick

I'M SO OVER SICKNESS!!! This year (end of 2015 till now) has been so BAD with illness!! Everything just keeps making the rounds. I don't know why my immune system is so crappy. My Doctor even commented on how much I've been sick, and how I need "to take time to rest and recover". OKAY....how do you suggest I do that with an almost 2 year old??!!

I basically got sick in September along with Nash...and haven't been better since. I've gotten a cold, that went into a sinus infection, that gave me a yeast infection, that blurred into another sinus infection, which led to another yeast infection that gave way to yet ANOTHER sinus infection, that led to a cold. I got better and felt "good" for 2 or 3 days until yesterday where I woke up, felt okay, took Nash to the doctor because, yes hes sick AGAIN, only to walk in the door and start vomiting so hard that I kept peeing my pants.

No joke. If i stood up, I retched. As I retched, I peed myself. And not a little. A LOT. It was mortifying. I couldn't keep anything down...i tried sips of water only to throw it back up. My doctor called in Zofran for me...because if that didn't work then I was going to have to go to the ER for an IV. Luckily the Zofran worked. I haven't thrown up in almost 18 hours. I've yet to eat anything...but that's probably for the best. 

So, if i'm slow to respond to anyone, or hit and miss on the blog...know its been because I'm sick. Basically all the time. And gosh dang it, I'm working on getting better!!!

Crappy Immune System

So i'm in the middle of my 4th...yes FOURTH sinus infection. In 2 months. I barely have time to stop taking the antibiotics and then i'm sick again. This time, it hit hard. My weak immune system was pretty much nothing and i got bombarded with the sinus infection, and a cold, and some respiratory junk. Basically, I want to rip my lungs OUT and head OFF. 

I had a family contact me before Halloween about photographing their childs birthday/big family holiday party December 17th. I agreed. I've been so sick, but I had been on antibiotics for 2 days, and I had to do it. It was too late to cancel.

So off I went in the 45 degree weather and danced around the Wright house grounds for 2.5 hours snapping away. I think the family will be pleased. It was beautifully decorated (very lavish if i'm being honest!!), they had a green screen, santa and mrs clause as well as 2 elves...me, and a face painter. It was a production!! 

I drove back home, and curled up on my couch in my jammies.

And i've been doing that since. Poor Nash. I feel like I've been a crappy mom the last couple months. With me being so sick, we havent been outside much...you know...like hardly EVER. I'm my harshest critic and worst enemy. I feel like I should be at a certain standard and I never seem to reach it, no matter how hard I try. Maybe I just keep raising the bar for myself...without even knowing about it. 

I dont know. 

Right now, i'm trying to get healthy enough to enjoy Christmas with my family. Nash is old enough this year to get really into opening gifts and playing with toys. I dont want to be miserable/look miserable in the video/pictures/my memory. Thankfully, Nash wont have permanent memory for awhile. Maybe by then I'll have my act together. And a working immune system.

Breaking our hearts over here

Day 2.

Nash is SICK.

Vomiting, diarrhea, and fever close to 102.5

He is cuddling like nobody's business.

Making sad whimpering sounds.

Moaning and groaning every time he moves.

Its breaking our hearts to hear him like that.

He does NOT want to be alone, so he has been napping and sleeping with mommy in her arms in her bed.

The Tylenol and Motrin are containing the fever for the time being. If he can hold down the pedialyte and cherrios and dry toast we gave him tonight for dinner...then we wont take him to the doctor. Or if Tylenol stops containing the fever. Then we'll be going in. Funnily enough we are scheduled for his 18 month well check for Wednesday. This has happened the last two well checks. We end up there 2 or 3 days "early" because of illness and then cant get our shots until the next week. GAH.

Praying he feels better....and sleeps better....last night was rough. Although we are supposed to have a flooding storm tonight which means that I dont see sleep in our future.

((This picture was taken after attempt #2 of a nap and our 3rd dosage of Tylenol and 2 dosage of Motrin. I label it "how to tell that the medicine has kicked in".))

How do you do it?

How do you keep trucking along when you feel so miserable?

Seriously. I'm on day 2 of my cycle (which is by far my worst day for cramps), as well as i'm on day 3 of this illness which so far is the worst day yet! i feel like i'm dying. i'm achy, my throat hurts, i'm crampy, my head feels like its swimming, i'm congested, i have a cough, and i think i'm starting to chill. (i cant seem to get warm---very unusual for me!)

I think of all of those expectant moms out there. First time mommies who are dealing with morning sickness all the time.

Or about the mommies in their second or third or more pregnancy. How in the world do you keep going and keeping up with your other kids when you feel miserable?

I think about my mom. She had her first 2 kids within between 2 and 2.5 years of another. Then my oldest brother got sick and became physically and mentally disabled. She not only dealt with that AND a toddler---but then proceeded to get pregnant again (only to miscarry) and then 6 years after my next oldest brother-- have me! while still dealing with my oldest brother's medical issues and a rambunctious 6 year old. AND THEN 8 years after me she had my baby brother. While dealing with all of that, but also a couple of TEENAGER BOYS and their mischief and sport practices and all of my only girl whining and attention needing and music lessons and softball games.

Bless her heart.

You all are an inspiration to me.
Seriously.
Gold medals and stars for all of you!