Revised "5" post

Today is brought to you by the number 5

**I did this in 2009, its almost been 5 years since I did it! crazy!**

5 Things I was doing 5 years ago:

1. I was taking a boyfriend hiatus after a BAD breakup

2. In college trying to decide if I wanted to do Dental Hygiene anymore

3. Hanging out ALOT with my BFF

4. Being truly thankful for my family who became my best friends.

5. Trying to decide if I was going to bite the bullet and buy a new car. (i didn't--which was a mistake!)

5 Things on my To-Do List right now:

1. Sell stuff on Craigslist

2. Dishes

3. Go in for an ultrasound this week

4. Love on my husband

5. Organize the bedroom

5 Things I would do with "1 MILLION dollurs!" (Bedtimes stories):

1. Baby! (fertility, IVF, adoption)

2. Buy our own home

3. Be generous with giving

4. Invest

5. Buy a SUV :)

5 Places I have lived:

1. 7th Place, Mesa

2. 454 Brown Rd., Mesa

3.  1233 Mesa Dr., Mesa

4. Bigfork, MT (2 months one summer, and 2 weeks every summer since)

5. Pinedale, AZ (6 weeks every summer as a kid) do these count?!?

5 things I want to be doing in 5 years!

1. Being a mom to at least 2 kids

2. Doing more hair at home 

3. Growing a great garden to help us be healthy!

4. Serving in the church

5. Supporting my husband no matter what!

5 Places I want to go to during my life:

1. Ireland

2. England

3. Italy

4. Greece

5. Australia 

Oh, prom.

My parents had their last child go to their Senior Prom on Saturday.

Its been 14 years since Jeff went. 

yeah...we have big gaps between us kids. 

Anyways...as I was waiting for Joe to bring his beautiful date to our house for a few minutes so we could see them, I got to reflecting on my Senior Prom. Unfortunately, I don't have very many happy memories attached to that night. I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year, but the month before our Prom he started being a total jerk to me. However, no one else was going to ask me to prom because we were dating. I finally went with my mom and bought my first formal dress (I had borrowed my cousin Becky's for all of my other formal dances) at Arizona Bridal. It was stinking expensive, but GORGEOUS. It was a fitted sheath dress, with a beaded overlay (HEAVY), and a massive tulle train that we had bustled. I adored this dress. Well, my boyfriend didn't even officially ask me until the week before prom. And then all of that night, he never once commented on how nice I looked or anything. He was totally lame all night and made my first and last prom totally awful. Needless to say we broke up right after graduation and we both were happier and moved on quickly.

I'm so proud of my baby brother. Joe makes (and has always made) good choices. He knows that he shouldn't have a steady girlfriend before his mission, so hes never "dated dated" a girl. He has a great group of friends and they all have gone to dances together and they do large group dates when they go out. I can't believe Joe will be graduating in less than a month, and out on his mission before the end of this year. 

Time just keeps flying. 

For your entertainment, I found (amazingly) one of my big brother Jeff's Senior prom pictures, one of mine, and since I took them, one of Joe's. So fun!

(Jeff and Sarah May 1999)

(Me and Justin May 2005)

(Joe and Whitney April 2013)

Flashback

Can we all just take a minute and appreciate how freaking TAN i was growing up?!

Man, alive I wish I didn't have to work so i could maybe have some color again.

Also, we should note how terrified Joe seems to be. It must be my teeth...those would scare anybody!

Dreaming

Lately I have caught myself day dreaming of my future life.

Jace and I have sat down multiple times and "mapped" out what we'd like our lives to look like in 3 year, 

5 year, and 10 year increments.

Some goals in those lists are:

Have at least 2 kids

Jace will finish college

We will buy a house

Have a new car

Have another kid

Go to Ireland for our anniversary

Jace will receive multiple promotions

and the list goes on.

I've been day dreaming about what it will be like when i'm finally pregnant. 

How i'll look, how i'll feel. How we will need to re-arrange furniture to fit baby stuff. 

What we'll actually need to have/buy for when we have a baby. 

Yesterday was a weird day. I'm on lots of medicine so i always feel...off. And then things kept happening that weren't planned, things were taking longer than they were supposed to, i bit my lip hard and its all swollen, i forgot to eat dinner, and JACE wanted to watch a reality TV show. 

My world was kinda upside down.

Yesterday at work, I also decided that i'd start planning our UK adventure! Jace and I both LOVE Ireland. To death. I have family from there. We both agreed on our honeymoon that we'd start planning and saving and go to Ireland for our anniversary. What we couldn't see coming then, was that we'd have to do fertility and that would put a kibosh on our 5th anniversary plans.

 However, I decided that i was sick of just talking about someday and that i would start researching and getting a good base plan! I had so much fun. We will fly to JFK (I've never been to NYC) and then we'd fly to Dublin. We'd have 2 weeks to explore and do what we want! Like we'd go to London on the train (never been on a train!) and we'd see all of the "touristy sights"that Jace has his heart set on, and we'd go to the Isle of Wight (by ferry!) because that is where my fathers family (at some point down the line) came from! 

We'd also take another train and go to Scotland for a few days. 

I'm telling you, I cant wait to put this dream into motion and actually GO on our UK trip. It will be grand, for sure. :)

Do you have things that you day dream about regularly?

Our Journey Part 9

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

...this call said I wasn't pregnant.

picture the most discouraging, disappointing thing you can and this is how I felt.

Ugh.

The nurse on the phone is the one who took my blood.

She sounds as discouraged as I am. This has to be hard for them too. They don't want to see people get hurt either. So I try to not cry on the phone as she discusses what my Doctor wants to do differently for this next cycle.

I hurry off the phone and know that I have to call Jace now.

This is the worst part. Hes going to be really disappointed.

I call. He answers. I burst into tears. He says, "oh no. i'll be home as soon as i can." and hangs up having to get back to work.

I call my mom...I know shes been just as anxious as me.

She answers...shes been waiting to hear from me. You can hear the trepidation in her voice.

I say, nope...not this month.

And we both burst into tears at the same time.

She apologizes to ME. She wanted it so badly for me. With all my weird symptoms this month she was sure that I was pregnant but didn't want to say anything to get my hopes up. Meanwhile, she got her own hopes up. I get my sobbing under enough control to spit out the words..."i really thought it was going to happen. I really thought i was pregnant." and then i started sobbing harder....and she replied through her sobs..."i'm so sorry honey. your heart is broken...and its breaking mine not knowing how i can help."

I get it together (somewhat) and ask her to tell dad and my brothers. I couldn't make those calls.

By the next day, I was okay. I mean not REALLY okay, but I had no fear of bursting into tears at work. I mean...I just need to gear up to start over.

Next cycle would start up in a week or so.

Katie McGuire

My best friend married her sweetheart yesterday. FINALLY!!! They have been planning this wedding for over a year! I would've gone crazy with all that time, but they did it and it turned out beautifully.

Katie and her step momma Terri

The matrons of honor trying to get the veils in.

Husband and Wife--finally!

Just before the ceremony! 

Katie looked like an angel...she was seriously so beautiful.

The ceremony was very nice, Christ centered, and their Pastor was awesome and funny.

Pictures seemed to take forever!!, but hopefully they all turn out just as she wants them!

They had the ceremony, then a cocktail hour, then the toast portion (yes, i gave a toast), then dinner, then the  dancing reception started.

It was a very long, but very fun day. To prove it, my feet are covered in blisters and as soon as I laid down last night--i passed out and didnt wake up until 8 this morning.

I thought that I would include my toast in here...for future posterity...because i'm sure they'll all love to hear about how much their mom loves their aunt Katie and how i cried in front of all of those people while giving it. :)

"Almost 15 years ago, I sat in my English class looking for a friend. I really needed one at that point. We were working in groups and there was one girl that I knew i could be friends with, but I was too chicken to go up and talk to her. Later that day when I found out we were playing in the same orchestra and she played the violin too, I felt like it was fate. I got up my courage and asked her to have lunch with me. We instantly became good friends--discovering a mutual love of Nsync, rainbow sprinkles, CDs, Instant messenger (when it was cool), and a thousand other little things. Over the next 6 years, we became best friends. And if you dont believe me, Katie made these shirts for us one Christmas  that say 'Andrea and Katie Best Friends since 1999.' Our friendship was complete with secret notebooks and even our own language. I never had a sister growing up, and I feel like Katie filled that void in my life. We shared almost every weekend together with pool parties at her house, slumber parties galore, annual Christmas parties at my house, tons of junk food, late night runs to go get ice cream, wondering the malls, and some serious slap happy giggle fits. We've gone through alot together--school, road trips, first kisses, first loves, graduations, illness' in our families, college, and finally finding our own true loves. I don't know Adam very well, but I know he must be a great guy because Katie loves him. And I know he must be a smart guy, because he chose Katie. 4 Years ago, I married my own sweetheart and was so blessed to have Katie by my side--and today I'm proud to be here by hers. I'm so happy that you found one another! Adam, take good care of our girl, shes a special one. And  Katie: allabi lallabove yallabou. Raise your glasses to Katie and Adam!"

Starting to click.

Yesterday I wrote a pretty negative blog post. I think I left it up for a few hours before I finally just deleted it.

Being happy and positive didn't use to be as hard as it is right now.

Infertility, money stress, life stress, and lots of medication (hormone medication to be exact) will do that to you, i guess. But I don't like who I am when i'm negative.

I've been praying to find my way back from the"dark" and come back into the "light" of positive thinking.

A couple of years ago, I went to my first Time Out for Women. If I can swing it, i will be going to that every year for as long as they are going to do it. There was a musical/inspirational presenter named Hilary Weeks. I loved her. Everything she sang...everything she talked about just soaked into my soul. Seriously.

(My favorite CD)

(This was the Time Out for Women that I first saw her at)

Well, today Hilary posted a video segment that she did on a local TV show...about the POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING.

Um...hello. This had my name all over it!

watch it here

After seeing it, I went onto the website that Hilary started...Billion Clicks and I knew, I just KNEW that this was going to help get me out of my dark hole. I just signed up...and I've contributed 14 clicks this morning.

Its going to be a good day. Something just "started to click." ME.