Unable to Catch up

 I haven't updated this blog since I was 11 weeks along with out twin girls. They are 2.5 years old now. HA. 

Guys...I guess that sums up what life is like with twin toddlers and a 9 year old too. We are busy!

I will try and add some fun pictures in another post of the girls first 2 years of life, but right now, lets catch up on the family.

Jace: Left work at Wells Fargo last year! Has been working for Reece in their HVAC division. He likes what he does, gets good perks. and works with good guys. We are happy for the change. He was just recently released from being ward financial clerk after about 4-5 years, no new calling yet. Fell in love with the minivan we rented in Montana and traded in my Pathfinder (sob) for a Chrysler Pacifica for our growing family. He's ecstatic.

Nash: is in 4th grade, definitely has a form of ADHD, is doing alot to help out around the house, is the girls favorite, and in fall baseball currently and getting better each week. We sure love that boy! He will have a part in our primary program as well as being in a small group singing a special song.

Becca: 2.5, talking nonstop, busy! She is super dramatic and silly. She learned how to climb out of her crib last week and so her mattress is now on the floor in her crib and she is TICKED she cant get out! She is normally loud and vocal about what is happening and will tattle on Evie. LOL

Evie: 2.5, gibbering alot, has some sentences and lots of words or 2 word fragments. She is a little developmentally behind becca, but not by a ton. She talks so soft we call her princess peach! She is quiet and mischievous and does things she knows she shouldnt. LOL

Animals: Thor our cat is still alive and kicking although (especially since we brought the girls home) he tends to hang out in the living room away from all the chaos.

We adopted a Lab/Retriever Mix puppy in April 2023! His name is Castle. He is high energy and rambunctious and loves to chew! The girls have a love/hate relationship with him. Thor just hates him. LOL

Andrea: I am alive! Thats my biggest accomplishment lately. I'm the primary chorister and I'm getting ready to have my 1st primary program next month! I now am having dreams about it and in the dream, it doesnt end well for me. lol We started fertility treatments again right after the girls turned 2 in March. I got pregnant in May after our transfer, but almost immediately miscarried. We decided to jump back in and in August we had another transfer. I found out I was pregnant with TWINS again! (i started immediately praying for help...4 kids 3 and under sounded so hard and scary!!) We heard their heartbeats and saw their little gummy bear bodies! We were so happy. Scared but happy. We found out at 9-10 weeks that Baby B's heart had stopped and I lost them. It was such a weird gray area to be in. I was so sad, but also so happy seeing baby A and seeing how they were growing. So weird. It helps to know that I will have Baby B in heaven and they arent truly gone from me. I am almost 13 weeks pregnant (2 days) and in my 2nd trimester. This pregnancy is kicking my butt. I am so sick and throwing up daily. I am so tired and with the summer heat this year, my poor girls and I have just been holed up in our house. I wasnt allowed to go swimming either until September and that STUNK because the pool started cooling off and the girls got too cold too fast. I've had to shelve my photography business when the girls were born/1st year and now again because i'm so sick. I miss my clients.

I'm hoping to add more entries. I dont think anyone actually reads blogs anymore, and that is TOTALLY okay with me. I used to print the book out each year and that was my journal. Nash has read through my whole blog that is printed to this point and he has asked me when I was going to do a new one. So, he is my inspiration. :) 

I love my husband, my kids, my animals, my home, my job, my calling in the ward. I am so tired all the time, but its just my season I guess :)

37 weeks Gestation, 10 Weeks old!

 How?! How are my baby girls 10 weeks old?!

They have just been growing up and doing it fast and I feel like I'm missing it. Its so hard to have these angel babies, but not have them at home. Not have a routine, not have their brother even know what they really look like! WHAT. Insane. Nash sees pictures, we have videoed, but he doesnt have a clue. We dont have a clue! I want my babies home!!!

26 Weeks!

 VIABILITY!!! 

You guys!! Other than getting through the first trimester, this was our first major milestone! Twin viability is considered at 26 weeks, when both of them should be big enough to save if I was to go into preterm labor that they couldnt stop. 

I had an appointment with Dr. Beck today and things are progressing nicely! Both girls are active and measuring great. 

I also had to do my glucose test today. I have been dreading it. Not because the drink tastes bad (its not great, but its not horrible), but because I FAILED my 1 hour test with Nash and had to do the 3 hour one. I felt SO sick and was so tired...I really really dont want to do that again. Hoping for good news!

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UPDATE:

NOT good news...i have gestational diabetes! NOOOOOO!!!! I'll have to poke myself and check my sugars about 5 times a day. Yucky!

11 Weeks

 Hit 11 weeks! Getting closer to getting out of the first trimester! Whoop!!

I found a private ultrasound place that allows multiple people to come with you. I wanted Jace and Nash to be able to experience the ultrasound and see the babies in person! Plus I was hoping for a good picture to put on a Christmas card! My next OB appointment isnt until I'm 13 weeks and the last picture I have of them is from 8 weeks. 

We went at 11 weeks 4 days, IT WAS SO FUN!! Baby B was kicking and bouncing around while Baby A was just chilling, UNTIL Baby B kicked at it so much, then Baby A turned towards Baby B and started jumping themselves!! They are getting so big and it was just such a good experience! I love being able to see them!! I still have trouble believing that this is real and they are really growing inside me!!

10 Weeks, Announcing, and Thanksgiving!

 Thanksgiving week!!

I decided to officially announce to the world (aka social media) that we were expecting. Anyone who saw me in person figures it out quickly, so I knew it needed to be done soon. 

I got a cute shirt (its how i announced with Nash too) and did my chalkboard picture. Classic.

Joe and my mom both tested positive for COVID so we havent seen my family for awhile. I decided I'd make the entire Thanksgiving meal all by myself (for the most part, Jace helped some!) and send most of it over to their house. It was exhausting and harder than I thought! I did my first turkey and it came out beautiful!! I made rolls, a pasta salad, a fruit salad, gravy, turkey, ham, stuffing, a vegetable tray, dip, crandberries, and Jace did his mashed potatoes. I also cooked up a cherry and apple pie, and bought 6 others. Whew!

9 Weeks

 I had my ultrasound at my OB yesterday!!! I was 9 weeks 3 days. It was super quick, he didnt do all the measurements that my fertility clinic does. But thats okay! I got to see my babies. 

They actually looked like babies!! And they were wiggling around in there!!

My nausea has kicked in and some days i feel like dying. Other days, nothing.

So weird. 

I think that we will officially announce next week for Thanksgiving. I'll be over 10 weeks, and I will have finally gotten my hair done. LOL My belly is popping and there isnt any hiding the fact that I've got something going on if you see me in person.

8 Weeks

 I am 8 weeks 1 day pregnant with TWINS. 

You guys. That still doesn't seem real. Like, at all.

My clinic tried graduating me from their care at my 1st ultrasound at 6 weeks 4 days...but I couldn't see my OB until I was 9 weeks and 3 days, so I told them I needed to come in for 1 last ultrasound.

It was today!!

I've been so nervous because sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant. My symptoms come and go. I have sore boobs, some nausea every now and then, and of course I'm bloated, but that can come from all the meds I'm still on. Other than getting tired easy and falling asleep early, and the sometimes nausea, oh and not being allowed to pick up more than 20 pounds (that one is super annoying) I forget. AND THERE ARE TWO BABIES. Shouldn't I have more symptoms?!

Anyways, I was nervous (as evidenced by my blood pressure) and excited. The tech found the babies immediately on the abdominal ultrasound and then we moved to the wand. 

Baby A was showing off, we got to see their nubby arms and legs and adorable head. Their heartbeat was 163 and was measuring 2 days ahead at 8w3d!

Baby B was only letting us see their profile, but I could still see their head and one arm. Their heartbeat was 171 and was measuring 1 day ahead at 8w2d!

They are doing great and I couldn't be more thrilled!!! We have started making plans for the baby's room and hope to start working on it soon. I know its still early, but we are just too excited! We also bought 3 cute twin outfits that will work no matter the sex of the babies. 

How we told our families

Doing IVF is so weird. You know the minute you get pregnant technically. Our families knew. I was on bed rest for 2 days. They knew we had a 2 week wait.

So, on the day we found out we bought a sweater at target that said "worth the wait". I took it to my mom and dads and showed my mom. Her response was "oh honey, you might want to hold off until you know...." then I raised my eyes at her and she started crying and jumped up to hug me. My dad gave me a hug and so did Jeff. Joe said congrats. 

Nash came home from school and when he walked in I whispered "guess what? We are pregnant!" He whispered back "did he really call and tell you that?!" He is so excited. He keeps talking about making sure the babies are safe.

The hunts were coming from Utah 2 days later so we held off and decided to tell them in person. I wore the sweater to see if anyone would notice (they did not lol). At first it was just Pop and Mindy, Pop asked, I had him read my sweater and he pumped his fists in the air. Mindy asked if she heard right and i said yes and she hugged me and started crying! Then Jeff, Kara, Josh, Jamie, and Jen trickled in and each one was surprised and so happy. It was a super fun night to spread around some good news. 

We haven't really told anyone else yet. Waiting for our ultrasounds to do so. 🥰

6 week 4 day Ultrasound

We made it to ultrasound! It felt like an eternity!

Especially because 3 days before it i experienced some bleeding all day. I was so panicked and they had me come in to check my blood hcg levels. The levels came back at 26, 375 so im definitely pregnant. 

I'm taking it way easy, more easy if you can believe it. All I'm doing is lying on the couch and praying for these babies.

Anyways, ultrasound day! I had to go by myself, stupid covid rules. My blood pressure was high because I was nervous.

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Then we started! There was baby! Oh...and baby #2! TWINS!! Fraternal twins with perfect heartbeats. I cried the whole ultrasound and cried the whole way home. TWINS!!!

Beta #3

This was the slowest week ever. Finally went in for my 3rd blood test and our numbers are 6,086!

Those are high enough to schedule my 6 week ultrasound! I'll be able to see my baby/babies! Hear their heartbeats! We are oh so happy. Its going to be another long week. Lol I'm currently 5 weeks along. I got my stop meds calendar and im just giddy.

WE DID IT!!

 Officially pregnant with Hunt baby (or babies) #2!!

Yesterday was my blood test, and it was at 8:45 AM. Last time I didnt hear from them until almost 5 PM and it was pure torture. So this time...I came home and at 10 AM decided to just bite the bullet and take the at home pregnancy test. It immediately said YES and I just wanted to jump for joy. Jace was so happy, he took a half day and took me to target to buy something. LOL

Our first beta # was 192 (with Nash it was 129)

I go in tomorrow for another blood test and hopefully that number has doubled and we are going in the right direction! We are so happy and so excited and so hopeful and so thankful to our Heavenly Father. #huntbaby#2 hurray!!

Beta day

I went in today at 11 days post transfer for my blood draw. I asked when I might find out from them and they said this afternoon. 

We just want to know! We are all in knots over here! 

IVF Transfer #2

If you can believe it...Sucktember finally ended and on October 2nd we had our 2nd transfer. We transferred 3 embryos. We even got pictures of them and put them on the fridge 🤣

I'm currently ONE FULL WEEK into being pregnant (again). This week included 2 days of general conference (which was AMAZING during my bed rest), and Nash's fall break. I feel bad because we haven't been able to do anything fun. Im on crazy light duty, jace is working, and we have to be hyper aware of situations and social distancing and the like. 

We had a scare day 5 and 6 post transfer. I went to the bathroom and when I wiped, i wiped away blood. Freaked me out. It continued for almost a full day, then went to brown clumping, then I had a clot (not good!) come out. I spent alot of time praying. I did plead for my babies, that they could stay, but I did ALOT of pleading to help me be prepared in case things went south. August was awful and heartbreaking. I had a long co vo with one of my nurses,, she said that thr light bleeding and brown could be a good sign of implantation bleeding...and that we are officially officially pregnant. Today all the colored discharge is mostly gone. Im on limited "duty". Im not supposed to lift more than a gallon of milk and im supposed to take it easy. 

Nash and I have watched oh so many movies and TV shows this week its ridiculous. I did finally edit a gallery (I have another that needs to be done too). I also "planned" our family pictures for tomorrow. I bought a new shirt for nash and jace, new shoes for nash and jace, and a new dress for me. Im once again doing them myself, so hopefully they turn out okay. Im also trying out a new place...we've passed it a few times now when we go through globe and I hope it turns out well. We shall see!

For now, we are hopeful. We talk about me being pregnant and the babies inside me. I really really hope and pray they get to stay with us. Nash is thrilled with the idea of multiples. Seriously so stoked. 

The one where it takes forever...

 We almost always go to the cabin for Labor Day. Its one of the last times we get to go up for the year (we traditionally try to go around our anniversary in October before they officially shut it all down, but we dont know if we can go this year). We left Friday evening...later than I had hoped to, but Jace had work and I was doing laundry to go and trying to get my prescriptions filled before we left. I think by the time we got something for dinner and filled up with gas and got off it was around 6:30 ish. Mom and Jeff had left 45-60 minutes before that. I should also mention, that we had the dumb cat with us. Its important to the story.

The stupid highway going into Payson has had a lane shut down all summer because of the fire in June. Because of that it added on an additional 2 hours JUST TO GET TO PAYSON.

It was all stop and go traffic...and it made Nash vomit E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. We stopped at the gas station to clean him and the car up. Mom and Jeff had stopped to eat in Payson, so we now were almost caught up to them. We finally got back on the road, 15 minutes behind everyone else....only to get COMPLETELY stopped in Star Valley. We inched forward for over an hour, only to get stopped in front of Pete's Place (if you know you know). Mom calls and says its a bad traffic accident, but they are letting cars go through alternating between sides. Her car and Jeff's made it and she promised it wouldnt be long for us.

We were at A DEAD STOP for another hour. I finally had lost my mind...it was midnight at this point and we werent even HALF WAY to the cabin. We had been on the road almost 6 hours. SIX! 

I had Jace get out to see what the heck. A guy started driving back toward Payson yelling out his window that he talked to someone in charge and they had completely shut down the highway because of fatalities and they had no idea when they would open it back up.

So...heres the deal. Nash barely fell asleep around 11:15, and its almost 12:15 now....we have been on the road for almost 6 hours with a CAT who hasnt peed in who knows how long. We have no idea how long we might be there. I turned our car around and drove an hour and a half-ish back home. We walked in our house at 1:30 AM. The cat miraculously DID NOT pee in my car or even meow more than once or twice the WHOLE TIME. Nash whined and cried alot home because he was bummed about not going to the cabin.

I woke up Saturday and did some laundry and decided that we would try again, but go up the Globe way (its traditionally a half hour longer of a drive, but last night made me wary of going Payson). We had to fill up the car with gas AGAIN because of the dumb drive the night before. We left Thor at my parents house (my dad was at home). It felt like it took forever, but was still shorter than if we went the other way. We got to the cabin around 2 pm or so.

I'm glad we went, Nash had so much fun with all of the cousins and even got to drive one of Uncle Gary's quads all by himself! They played make believe, built sandcastles, made a fort, and ran around. 

Nash did launch himself off his bed the first night and landed full force on my uterus. I basically couldnt breathe for like 15 minutes. That was fun.

We planned on leaving around 3 ish, but Jeff's minivan wouldnt start around 10 AM and he trouble shooted ALL DAY. We hooked the battery up to our car--battery was fine. Dad was on the phone...he thinks its the starter. Wain starts trying to figure something out. Jeff and Joe go into town to see about towing it but its Labor day and no one is open. We FINALLY loaded the girls up in our car, and jeff's stuff in mom's and we left around 6 or 630 and left his minivan at the cabin. 

We got home before 930 pm last night. 

It was a doozy of a trip. I do not recommend most of it. lol

Moving Forward

Woo boy. August was the literal WORST.

We started online school the same day that I had my IVF transfer. I was on bed rest and then sick or sore (oh how sore!) from all the meds and shots that I had to do everyday. I was crampy and nauseous (all good signs indicating pregnancy), I lost 5 pounds (I lose weight at the beginning of my pregnancies). 

Then 12 days after that we found out that we lost our babies. 4 days after that we had a conversation with our doctor who told us that we had been pregnant and that i will be miscarrying those babies in the next week or so. 

I miscarried our babies.

All the while still homeschooling, and working.

Then we reached out to discuss another transfer. My IVF coordinator Daina set it up. Our next transfer is scheduled for October. I have to be on birth control pills and other meds while we monitor my lining and other things leading up to it. 

We are nervous.

But we are ready to move forward.

We don't want to be stuck in the sad. In the what ifs. We have more embryos waiting. Its time to keep going.

I'm also really ready for school to start back up again, even for 2 days a week (which is their modified schedule). Everyone in the freaking state has started back up already...why not us?! People are doing Prenda schools--no masks, kids together. Our numbers are going down, not up.

The CDC released information basically owning up to numbers being inflated. Covid is real (our net door neighbor KaraLyn is a nurse had it, so did our neighbors Gary LeSeuer, and Lana Stradling, and Shelice Millett) but its not as deadly for the general population as they have made it out to be. People have lost their livelihoods, the world is in complete chaos, places like New York and California are STILL under lock down 6 MONTHS INTO THIS. 

We are ready to move forward. Yes, our lives will never be the same, but we are ready for our new normal and for people to stop acting how they are acting. We are ready for the election to be over in November so the Democrats and Republicans stop using the American people as their puppets. 

We are ready to move forward past all the blazing HOT weather we are having. Arizona has broken all sorts of records on how many days in a row we have had temps over 110. We have basically not had any monsoon rains.

September in our house is better known as "Sucktember" and I really hope that that doesn't hold up this year. August was sucky, I don't need September to be as well.

Day 12 post transfer

We found out today (August 17th), at 12 days post embryo transfer, that our two beautiful babies didn't "stick". To say our entire family is devastated would be an accurate description. We talked about these babies everyday. We talked about names, what they would look like, how our lives would change once they got here. Nash was talking about how the babies would be in the room next to him and that he could be a big help to me. His comment to me when I told him the news was (with a drooped head and slumped shoulders) "but then ill still be all alone...."and I broke. 

The grief has been coming in waves for me. I was SO sure this was finally it for us...i mean we had our babies created and placed in my uterus for crying out loud. As a woman, and a woman with infertility, its impossible to not blame myself. Maybe I did something wrong, maybe I did my meds wrong, maybe I didn't have enough faith...the list goes on. 

Sure, I know better logically. But for now the pain is speaking louder than logic. 

I now have to prepare myself to miscarry. 

Maybe someday. 💔

This phrase spoke to me...except we don't THINK this all we want, we do WANT it.

Day 5 post transfer

I joined a "IVF TRANSFER IN AUGUST" group on Facebook. I thought it would be good support...but honestly its making me more nervous and in my head. Some of the women who transfered the same day as me or even after me are already taking pregnancy tests!  

What in the world?!

What if its negative? Then you're miserable for 2 weeks, but COULD actually be pregnant. What if its a false positive? Then you spend 2 weeks overjoyed only to be heartbroken 💔. 

I am so nervous. There is so much riding on this. So much time, so much money, so much hope and prayers!

Transfer day!!

I passed my 3rd test!! 

4 days ago, I started my new protocol. I now take progesterone cream twice a day and jace has to give me a large shot in my butt of progesterone in oil, plus the estradiol pills twice a day and the estrace cream at night PLUS all of my other pills and supplements. 

shwew. 

I'm constantly sore, and my body has changed thanks to the bloating and swelling from the meds. 

I've done the progesterone shots to jump start my period before, but i'm doing these every day and I have never been more sore. Laying down and rolling over is ROUGH.

My hormones have definitely shifted...my patience level is at a 0. 

We got our for sure transfer date for our sweet embryos! August 5th! 

I'm so excited, nervous, tired, sore, anxious...all of the things!

Also, Nash starts online school tomorrow (day before my transfer...) We will see how it goes! 

IVF

Wow.

Every time I think that there can NOT be possibly more information to take on in regards to fertility, I AM MISTAKEN!

For you women who can get pregnant and not think about it, I feel it would truly blow your mind. I have been going through infertility for 8 years, and treatments for 7 AND I'M CONSTANTLY BLOWN AWAY.

The amount of medications, the amount of doctors appointments, the decisions, the financial burden...its all truly astronomical.

I am starting preparing my body for my embryo transfer, whereby i will (God willing) be pregnant. I'm on so many pills and supplements already. I just picked up my meds for the next 4 weeks...totaling almost $2,000 and it fills my kitchen counter. I will have 4 different alarms set for different medications every SINGLE day. Some meds do the same thing, but cant be taken at the same time, or in the same vein. So like, in the AM and PM i'll be doing pills of one medication, but also right before bed I'll be using a vaginal cream. SAME TYPE OF MEDICATION. Its just crazy town. I will be giving myself shots again and I will be doing upwards of 3 different injections PLUS all the pills and creams almost every single day.

I AM OVERWHELMED.

Plus, while I'm preparing my body for transfer, you have "check in" appointments, where they draw blood, do ultrasounds, tests to make sure my uterus is open (no freaking polyps please!), and scratch the heck out of my lining so the embryo has a nice soft pillow to bury itself into.

I've passed 2 out of 3 tests so far, clearing me for my transfer date.

Please pray for us, for me, and for our embryos!! We are so ready for this part of this journey to be done and move onto the next!!

Our Journey Part Dos Summer 2020

After the devastation that was March 2020, Covid-19 put a HALT on everything non-emergency related. No dental procedures, no elective surgeries, no fertility treatments.

I got a call in May, stating that as the state opened back up, we could start proceeding with IVF. It was so nerve wrecking to decide to move forward in this way. Its A LOT of money with no guaranteed outcome. But over the last 2+ years we have spent that much and probably more altogether...so we decided to go for it.

We have prayed and fasted to know what to do for years now. We have felt like failures because we've never received inspiration from Heavenly Father helping guide us in one direction or another. However, we have felt pretty strongly about 2 things. #1. We have more kids waiting for us. and #2. its not time for adoption yet. Well, that doesn't leave too many options for us, so we went forward and scheduled IVF treatments.

Thanks to Covid19 everything is definitely different. I am the only person allowed at the office (unless Jace had to go do his part). You text when you are there and wait in your car to be called into the office. You are required to wear a mask, get your temperature taken, and answer a few questions before you go in to get checked.

I'm dealing with a whole new set of nurses-- my favorite nurse was furloughed because of Covid19 :(
I have an IVF coordinator--I call her often to ask questions.

I went on a very intense medication cycle and had to do blood work and ultrasounds EVERYDAY after day 6. I started the whole process June 1st. On June 13th I went in for my Egg Retrieval. Surgery was different too. I was whisked away and was alone during prep (except for my cute nurse Judy) and had to wear a mask until I was up on the operating table. I woke up and had to get dressed and everything by myself and was wheeled out to the car where I finally saw Jace again. My nurse realized that my birthday was in 2 days. I said this is my birthday present. I want babies for my birthday!

We were told that they were able to take 36 EGGS during retrieval! That is amazing.

The next day they called and said they were able to fertilize 20 of those eggs.

Then came the waiting. 7 LONG DAYS OF WAITING to hear about our embryos. We have prayed and fasted for those babies. I have had many conversations with Nash about what fertilization is and what an embryo is. My 6 year old knows more about the science of reproduction than I did in high school, I swear.

Anyways....

I just got the call.

ELEVEN EMBRYOS. 11!

We are going to have the opportunity to have more babies and we are beyond thrilled. I am going to be crying once it finally hits. Our babies. Our "Em-babies". So excited.