Nash turns FIVE!

Holy cow. I have a FIVE year old!? How did that happen?!

Nash feels very grown up and gosh dang, he kind of is.

He went to the doctor for his well visit and he is doing so amazing. Our doctor is the best too. He always likes to take me back to the day he met us right after nash was born. Nash was 4 lbs and 4+ weeks early. He had such horrible colic, and reflux. He couldnt latch and so I pumped and pumped some more. My life revolved around making food for nash and feeding him. Slowly Nash gained weight. Then he was allergic to my breastmilk and it was too hard to keep pumping. He ended up on hospital grade formula $$$. Through this all, Nash kept growing. I taught him sign language. He excelled verbally. He kept growing. Doctor Guthrie always praises both me and nash when we see him and I could just cry every time. I feel complete validation that I did EVERYTHING I could.

Nash now is in the 70th (ish) percentile for Height and 43rd for weight. He is hitting about 49% for his head. We were told that he basically was perfect. I would have to agree.

He is still pretty skinny. He needs 4T shorts still, but because of how tall he is he has to have 5T Jeans (with a pull waist) and he has graduated to 4/5 (xs) shirts in the big kids section. He still has trouble with his bowels and so he gets Miralax to help about 1 time a week. He graduated from his preschool class last week and HAS LEARNED SO MUCH! He has been struggling with cutting things out, but is doing so much better. He knows his letters and numbers, loves to count and is starting to sound out words! I signed him up for kindergarten back in January and he will start at Franklin East in August! He has another season of swim lessons starting in May with Miss Jennifer and hopefully he will learn to master floating and diving. He does really well with swimming himself. His favorite character on Mario is Luigi, his favorite ninja turtle is Donatello, his favorite super hero is Iron Man. His favorite color is Red. His favorite animal is a Lion and "sea animal" is a Shark or Alligator. His favorite stuffed animal is still his "pinkie baby" kitty cat. His favorite sport is baseball or kicking a soccer ball. He loves being at Grandma and Papa's house. He builds with Legos and still loves shooting Nerf guns everywhere. He LOVES to copy his cousin Corbin. He misses his cousins Jane and Sammi in California. He loves cars (hot wheels) and his train table still. He loves being outside with other people. He gets bored real quick by himself. He's been asking for a sibling for about 6 months--hopefully we can give him good news about that sooner than later. He has the best little singing voice and has a natural talent for music and especially for matching pitch. He has some friends in the neighborhood that he loves to play with--Shawn Kerrigan, Calvin Montague, Mason Davis, Brody Brooks, and Jeddy Hewson.

Nash loves doing family dates with momma and dad. He loves going to "cat fats" for glo-golf and arcade games. He LOVES pizza--still his favorite food. Strawberries and Apples are his go to snacks. He finally is starting to eat other things, its been a LONG road to get to this point. HA! He especially loves getting to go to restaurants. He likes to pick Applebees, Olive Garden, and Barros--and he keeps asking to go to a buffet. So funny.

He still loves to read (or rather be read to), and we got the N64 up and running and now he loves to play family games like Mario Party or Mario Cart.

We sure love our Nash man and cant imagine our life without him. He's our little miracle!!!

Goings on

Its MARCH!

Yay! and also how?

I thought i'd give an update here on our life ATM (at the moment). I was doing my first treatment after surgery and my ovaries OVER-reacted (get it? ha. i gotta find the humor or I'd just cry--which dont get me wrong, I totally did). I ended up with 11 or 12 follicles measuring at a 10 or higher. Which could mean that when we triggered ovulation I could get pregnant with many many babies. My doctor ran the percentages and deemed it unsafe for me so he canceled that cycle. That was a serious blow.

I have been in serious "get all this crap out of my life. it is junking it up, making me feel claustrophobic, and in my way". This happens about twice a year and I seem to be right on schedule. March and October. When I had nash and when i announced his presence to the world. Coincidence? So I've been purging. I'm sure I can do more too. Right now I'm working on the garage and getting anything baby related out and checked (its been 5 years, i mean....) Plus the 3rd bedroom we have is supposed to be a baby's room...so I'm getting that space figured. If you build it, they will come maybe?

My cousin Julie is pregnant with twins (courtesy of my fertility doctor). They are her 4th and 5th from him. She has all girls and one of the twins is a boy. So i'm going to go through all of nash's baby clothes and donate some to her. So now I've pulled them all out of the garage and it seems like a seriously daunting task. I'm going to convince my mom to help me.

Nash's 5th birthday is this month! I cant believe he is FIVE. Wow. My little guy isnt so little anymore. He asked me the other day to help teach him to be a grown up. ::ugly crying:: please never leave me. Ha.

He gets to have his first ever friend party. He chose the theme...MARIO! (But Luigi is his favorite for some unknown reason). I'm working on getting it figured out....

I have Taxes coming up and I stress the crap out because I'm the one who puts them together and I have to do it for my business too. Yeesh.

I found out a few days ago that my best friend Troy's dad passed away very unexpectedly. He went to bed and never woke up. That has been hard. The funeral is tomorrow.

That is pretty much us right now. Fertility, Nash, Cleaning, etc.

Well...

So...December was a bummer with the exception of 2 things. A trip to California and Sea World which I have in another post and Christmas. Those 2 things were great. Everything else was not good. January really didnt go so well either--I was "sick" for most of December and it got way worse in January. So much so that my 103 fever had my doctor convinced I had the flu, or whooping cough, or pneumonia. I tested for everything and it came back negative. So just some awful virus that attacked hard and WOULD. NOT. LEAVE.

However, one good thing came about in January.

I had surgery. HA!

But seriously, its a good thing because its the start of fertility 2019. I kept the fact that we were trying for another baby last year a secret and I had to go through some really hard things alone. I've decided to be honest that we are once again trying, but I probably wont be as open with E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G like i was when I went through it all with Nash.

So! Everyone please remember us in your prayers as we are trying to grow our family! #prayingfortwins

Here goes!

Craptastic

What a title for my post, eh?

Well...today was crap-tastic. Truly a horrible day.

It started when Nash would NOT get moving and we were a little late for school.

Then it got worse when I went to get in to my car only to find that it had been broken into...and we had a few things stolen.

So Nash was 20 minutes late to school, my car had been vandalized, and I had to file a police report.

Then I went to get Randy out of bed, only to have his wheelchair not lock, causing me to lower him to the ground and find a round about way of getting him back up and out of his room.

Nice.

Jace texted me. He was turned down for the promotion he was up for (and really deserves).

Wonderful.

Then I was off to get a pedicure that I've literally been planning for a year. My mom gave me $ for Mothers day to do it, but every time I went to go, I hit something and broke off huge pieces of my nail.

I waited for an hour...only to realize that I wasnt going to be able to get it done because I needed to pick Nash up from school.

So Nash was 20 minutes late to school, my car had been vandalized, I filed a police report, basically dropped my 40 year old brother, found out my husband didnt get his promotion, and spent an hour trying to get a pedicure that didnt happen.

I had 20 minutes, so I went to Frys to get a few groceries. The line took a million years. I got to my car when Nashs school got out. So I was going to be late in picking him up. ::facepalm::

I picked Nash up and went home to put away our groceries. I noticed that the fridge seemed a little warm. I tried drinking some milk....which I spit out and dumped out immediately.

SO...Nash was 20 minutes late to school, my car had been vandalized, I filed a police report, basically dropped my 40 year old brother, found out my husband didnt get his promotion, spent an hour trying to get a pedicure that didnt happen, took too long at the grocery store and picked nash up late from school, AND discovered my fridge was going out.

We had the motor fixed on this older fridge that came with the house a few years ago. We knew we were on borrowed time. We just didnt realize how fast the payment was going to be due.

I went back to my parents house to put nash down for a nap so I could get some work done. I was seriously behind in my editing. While I was putting him down in the dark room, i hit my foot on a chair and (if you can believe it) broke my big toe nail.

THATS RIGHT ladies and gentlemen....the whole reason I was supposed to have the freaking pedicure today.

We went to pick out a new fridge. We were planning on buying one with our tax return this next spring (cash) because we have worked so hard at getting debt paid down. This summer we paid off 3 credit cards. Now, we will be the proud new owners of a fridge that works...and have one of those credit cards back in rotation.

SO...Nash was 20 minutes late to school, my car had been vandalized, I filed a police report, basically dropped my 40 year old brother, found out my husband didnt get his promotion, spent an hour trying to get a pedicure that didnt happen, took too long at the grocery store and picked nash up late from school, discovered my fridge was going out, broke my big toe nail, AND bought a fridge that made us use a credit card we didnt want to use.

OH AND CHERRY ON TOP--we went back to the car to leave and someone had put a stinking target card that locked up behind our vehicle that jace and I both had to pick up to move out of the way.


Seriously. One of the more craptastic days of my life.

December already?

Today is the 3rd of December. I can honestly say that part of me cant believe it and another part feels like this was the longest year ever.

After going through fertility treatments and having to stop them midway through the year because of now needing surgery....its been a long 7 months. It doesnt help either that everyone I know has gotten pregnant in that time. I'm not even joking. My cousin has gotten pregnant twice now since i stopped treatment. she lost the first pregnancy early and now is pregnant with twins. i have 7 other friends announce their pregnancies in the last few months...and one is close to giving birth to her naturally conceived twins.

I've done my fair share of feeling pretty jealous if I'm being honest, and frustrated and angry that its not me. But I also havent dwelled on it. I'm feeling pretty proud about that. I allow myself to feel the feeling and work through it...normally takes a day or 2...and i've been able to let the anger go. I think that might be a small (large) miracle from God.

I've been pretty busy the last month mostly with my photography. I'm so blessed with so many returning clients and new clients as well! I also have alot of newborns that were born and are about to be born!

I was handling things so well too. I went and took nash to see santa already, we set up and did christmas card pictures, i got those ordered, AND sent out. My mom and I cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal and put it on this year. In November I had 30 photoshoots. I was staying up almost every night till 1 or 2 am to keep up on editing. I stopped biting my nails. Still going strong on that one. My house is decorated for Christmas and almost all of our outside lights are up. We got Christmas out of my parents basement and attic for them too.

I'M NOW SICK. Its all caught up to me. My face is broken out and I had a canker sore to start me off. Now i feel like i'm dying. I'm going to the doctor later today. Tomorrow I'm supposed to decorate a table and make a dinner salad for our Relief Society event as well. :/ I've got to learn to relax a bit during this season!

Procrastinating

I'm procrastinating. Sad to say thats the only reason I'm writing here right now. Journaling has been hard for me this year. We have had lots of hard things we've been going through and putting my thoughts down into a coherent form seemed impossible.

I'm in the THICK of work right now. For the last 2 weeks I have had clients almost every day or have been doing hair or have been helping my mom. I wake up early (not too horribly early, but Jace's alarm gets me up at 5 am and I go back to sleep till about 7 am--thank goodness daylight savings time has ended--jace works in the texas market so he was on texas time. i now get to sleep till 6!) I get up and get Nash going and immediately go to get randy up and out. Then I go home and either have clients (newborns) or I work on editing/housework. I get Nash and then we spend some time together (not enough and BOY the guilt, oh the guilt), i feed him, I try and get dinner planned or going, I do chores, or grocery shopping, etc.

Then I edit while he "naps" (rest time is more like it). Jace comes home and most days now i leave to photograph families, and he plays with Nash and I come home and make dinner and then force feed my child. Bathe him. Read to him. Finally get him in bed. Then i edit. During this time Jace is either working, at a SA recovery meeting, or doing Elder's quorum stuff. Then Jace goes to bed "early" and I stay up till 1-2 am editing.

I'm so tired right now. I know that it will not be this way for too much longer (about 4-5 more weeks of crazy) but its also the holidays. We are doing Thanksgiving with my parents alone for the first time in ever. So i'm in charge of half of the food. Intimidating. During December, i need to decorate, give neighbor gifts, take/make/send christmas cards, wrap presents, and be ready to go basically by the 1st of the month. I have clients during that month, plus the editing, plus the getting ready for Christmas, we throw a christmas party every year too so i've got that to plan, AND we are going out of town to California 4 days before Christmas for 3 days. Oh man, oh my!

I have anxiety as well, and so I'm trying really hard to balance everything as best as I can. We'll see how it goes! lol

Nash-isms as of late

This kid is SUCH  a freaking crack up.

I never want him to grow up dangit.

Some of his more funny sayings from ONE sunday evening at my parents house:



(while playing cards with the grown ups)"Momma, you need pacific (specific) cards!"

"Dont worry, I'm gonna read the constructions (instructions)".

"Jace: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR THE LAST 30 MINTUES?!"
"Nash: (so innocently) I ate 2 green beans!"

"When you have a heart attack, your heart explodes momma".

"Me: Say it higher...
Nash: ...higher."

"Papa isnt too old....hes still kind of new."

(Singing "Be what i believe" a song for the primary program) "Like Nephi versavere!" (persevere)