Yesterday, as I was laying dead from the stomach virus that settled in this house, I really started planning my baby boy's first birthday party.
Today, as I was rocking my poor, sick, baby boy to sleep and watching him cuddle into my chest and sigh contented sighs, I burst into tears.
Because I realized that my baby isnt going to be a baby much longer.
And my mom brain went into overdrive thinking that it wont be long before hes up and playing with neighborhood kids and not me, then he'll be in school full time, and in 17 years (honestly, that is NOT very long!) he'll be on a 2 year mission for our church. Away from me.
So excuse my messy hair, my pajama or yoga pants, my spit uped on shirt. I'm not going to be making plans to keep myself busy or because we "need to be out". I'm going to soak up all the moments I can.
I want to remember the way Nash's eyes look when he searches for me and then finds me. The way his voice sounds when he says mom. The giggle he has when I kiss his tummy and tickle his feet and inner thigh. How cute he looks as he figures something new out. The way he reaches for people he wants. The high pitched soft voice he has when he sees an animal.
He is my baby boy. Always will be. But he'll only be this size once and I've gotta soak it up.