It sounds crazy to say this but the next few weeks were really nice--in the sense of I felt kinda normal. I wasnt pumping myself full of hormones...or taking extra medication to grow follicles. I was on no timeline. I wasnt thinking about whether or not I was pregnant.
However...towards the end of the 4th week after we decided to take a break, Jace's sister (who we gave our fertility doctors information to) called us to let us know that on their first try, they were pregnant.
To say we were in a deep dark pit of despair would be an understatement. It was so hard...because while we were devestated, we wanted to be happy for her and her husband.
The problem was...I couldnt get it out of my head all that i found "wrong" with the news:
We had been trying just as long as they had.
We have spent thousands and thousands more than they had.
I had gone through multiple surgeries, and many, many IUI's where she only did one.
It was MY Doctor that got her pregnant.
It did nothing to help the fact that everyone was so happy and excited for her and no one thought to see how I reacted to the news...or my poor husband for that matter. (and i understand they were being happy and thoughtful of her---dont get me wrong.)
Unfortunately my family was up in the mountains, so a phone call to my mom to help soothe me was all I got.
Jace and I had a rough go for the next week or so...and then we were going to have to make a decision on whether or not to try again or wait...or IVF...or who knows. It was not something we were looking forward to.