Thursday, October 25, 2012

The dilemma every married person goes through...


Growing up...through jr. high...through high school...through college...and after college I have had 2 best friends.

One girl, One guy.

I knew that for the most part, i could call and talk to them about ANYTHING. 

I knew that my guy friend would be there for me AND ALWAYS HAVE MY BACK.

I knew that my girl friend would not hate me when i broke up with a guy and called her at 3 in the morning to cry, or if I left my phone at her house, she would meet me half way (she lived far) THAT NIGHT (even if it WAS 1 am) because shes awesome like that. 


I was the first one engaged.

Jace and I spent alot of time together (naturally). BUT i knew how i'd feel if they found someone and just LEFT me in the dust and forgot about we made HUGE SPECIAL efforts to spend alot of time with them. 

I cared. Their friendship meant the world to me.

Then came my wedding.

They were in my wedding party, my MOH and Best Man (yes, i had a best man) respectively. 

I love them you guys. So much.

And life continues on. School, work, married life, and juggling 2 families were our norm. But we kept trying (albeit not as much as before).


I noticed something. They weren't really AT ALL. I was confused.

Fast forward.

Guy friend moves across the country. I keep trying to send him texts and facebook messages...and FINALLY he responds to a text. But he never reaches out to me. And then i find out he is in a serious relationship...and he didn't tell me :( ouch.

Girl friend had started dating a someone seriously and I could NOT get her to hang out so i could hear all about him! Finally I met him...ONCE and then they were engaged. Which I found out about on facebook. I've seen the fiance TWICE since then. (3 times---are you kidding me?!) And then they bought a house together and I haven't seen her since. Honestly. I keep inviting them over to hang out, have dinner, play games and they keep bailing. We have lived in 2 different places for the span of 2+ years and they haven't seen either place. I've mentioned that I would love to see her new house and come out and everything...and there has been NO response. Girl friends sister even called me on my ANNIVERSARY and said she was thinking about me, AND then she sent the sweetest card. Why didn't my girl friend care enough to do something like that?

Now girlfriend asked me to be co-matron of honor...and i am so happy to do that. i love her so much, but other than her dress shopping a few months ago, we haven't seen each other. :( and the wedding isn't until next year.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that this is a dilemma for me. I love these people...they truly have been my best friends for the better part of my life...but is it over? Obviously I care in a different way than they do. I just hate to see our close friendship become the "card on birthday/christmas" kind of friendship.

(names were not used on purpose...and if you know who I'm talking about...please be respectful and don't use their names. the writing of this post was for journal purposes.)

1 comment:

  1. I wouldn't label it as "over" just yet. Maybe give them the time to adjust to life with their significant other, and then hopefully they'll be more willing to spend time with you...of course, I could be wrong, but don't give up yet. I was in a very similar experience with my best friend when she became engaged and married, and over time thing eventually normalized again. BUT, if you feel your time is being wasted and nothing will change or they're not willing to genuinely keep a relationship with you, then I'd let it go...I'm also experiencing THAT right now as well... :( Good luck! I hope things work out! I love you!


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