Remembering

I love the holidays.

 If you ask my husband he'll tell you that he hates them. Since we've been married, we have stressed ourselves (mostly me) sick about making sure we spend equal time with each family as well as starting our own families traditions (thats been mostly me too).

However, my love of the holidays surpasses the stress I generally feel.

The atmosphere changes.

With the ushering in of cooler temperatures, winter grass, Christmas music and lights, and some trees that might loose their leaves...comes the overwhelming feeling of Love. Gratitude. Thankfulness. A full heart. And lots of memories.

I've lost lots of people that I love.

The sound of Christmas music makes me think of my Grandma Gunnell and how she first taught me to dance in her living room to her record player...playing...WHITE CHRISTMAS.

The smells of Thanksgiving make me think of my Uncle Bruce and how just a month after my wedding that he couldnt attend, that he made it to the Thanksgiving festivities and gave me such a big hug and kiss.

Cinnamon Rolls and Mary's Lullaby are a sure fire way to get me to cry thinking of my dear Aunt Kathy. She had the voice of an angel. (Still does, I'm sure...singing in Heaven's Choir).

Warm Hugs, and Genuine Love are what come to my mind when I think of my Grandpa Gunnell...I was only 5 when he died, but I always felt like I was so special to him.

My great uncle Ross (my grandma gunnell's baby brother) past away earlier this year...and his family is adjusting to knowing that this will be their first holiday season without him. Its so hard. But when I think of Ross, I think of a caring and kind man, hardworking--with a huge heart, and a love of people.

Thinking now, as I'm finally adding to my own little family...that my sweet baby has gotten to know each of the dear, sweet, special loved ones that I have lost...that my family has been looking out for my special one...makes me weep tears of such joy.
In a way, it makes me feel reconnected to them. That they are watching over me...and watching over baby hunt and helping prepare me for what is to come.

Geez. I love the holidays.