Thursday, June 13, 2013

A me party, a party by myself.

Unfortunately yesterday it was a "me-pity-party"...

I go weeks without feeling down in the dumps, or the need to just vent/cry, but then it happens.

Without me even realizing its starting to happen until its too late.

When it all (the stress of my world and those around me) load up on me--all it takes is for one thing: like having a migraine for 2 days, being constantly dizzy, and being nauesous constantly...(thanks medicine), or hearing that someone is badmouthing you to other people to save their own butts, to set it off.

I heard yesterday, that someone was using me as a scape goat for their own failings. And of course, i'm not around to defend myself--however i didnt need to be defending myself anyways! I had done nothing wrong and had stupidly stood by this person for years--only to be repaid with this.

That was bad.

I also have been having a stressful/weird week at work. really has just been weird. Which just throws me off.

I have had constant migraines and dizzy spells for the past few days...I thought its because I might be dehydrated but I'm constantly drinking water!

The last 2 days, I havent eaten lunch or dinner really. I'm constantly nauesous. I have a bagle in the morning...last night I had a tortilla. Just the tortilla. So I think I'm hungry, and then unable to eat. Its silly.

I'm upset that I'm not getting pregnant even with all of the medicine and help from the doctor. Once I start feeling that way and going down that road---it carries me to a place that i dont like to go. So once I can stop the tears, I shake myself--clear my head, and remember that there is a plan for me. I am not forgotten. And while I feel a little lost, I am not lost.
The pity-party ended, just in time for me to find relief from my headaches with sleep.
Glorious sleep.

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