Shiners

Jace is a tosser in his sleep.

Something his family (and jace himself) didn't tell me about until we were already engaged and about to be married.
real nice family. reeeeeeaaaaaalllll nice. (just kidding...sort of)

However, almost during our entire first year of marriage, I never once experienced Jace and his restlessness.

And then. It started.

Nothing huge. As was described to me, Jace used to "Rock and Roll"...he would bump furniture in the night and keep people awake. Not the case. No, this was mild in comparison, but equally annoying.

He shakes his legs. And in turn shakes the bed. And it drives me nuts, but if I put my leg over his-- he stops.

SINCE I'VE BEEN PREGNANT ITS A WHOLE OTHER STORY.

We have a king sized bed. It has always been more than big enough for us (me the shrimp and my husband the giant). Then my belly ballooned out and I started propping myself up with pillows on either side of my body. I don't know if Jace is subconsciously mad at the space separating us, or hes subconsciously nervous about the impending arrival of our sweet boy.

WHATEVER it is...Jace has started "lashing out". There was a full week, right around Christmas time, where I was waking up every half hour by getting hit in the face by my husbands arm/hand/elbow. I went into work with a BLACK EYE people!!!

It comes and goes, his weird flailing of arms. But last night was horrible. His elbow came down directly on my eyeball. HARD. I woke up almost in complete tears, he mumbled something about what was wrong?, I told him he hurt me by hitting me in the face, he mumbled sorry, and started snoring again. An hour later, I woke up to his elbow digging into my back. I moved it. An hour after that his elbow came down hard again, but on my arm...making me ache. I said out loud, "you did it again!" and Jace replied with "whatever it was your arm."

I woke up for good this morning to get ready for work only to have my entire left side of my face just hurt. My eye probably has the makings of another shiner.

What the heck Jace?! If this is how you are going to act when I'm pregnant--we may need 2 separate beds. Cause dude. This isn't cool. You're beating your pregnant wife. Not a good look on you or me.

28 Weeks!!

 

How far along? 28 Weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/loss: 16 lbs?! Yikes!
Maternity clothes? Yes and LOVING them!
Stretch marks? Yep--they spiderwebbed all around my poor belly button.
Sleep: I am not sleeping well. Preparation?
Best moment this week: my diaper bag came!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Advil. Being able to get up fast if I need to. Sleeping. Not running into the couch every 2 seconds.Having my hands not have papercuts on them. I'm so clumsy!
Movement: Yes!  mostly while I'm falling asleep/laying down.
Food cravings: i'll never turn down curly fries or mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Smoke. Fish. Raw chicken.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? mostly out.
Wedding rings on or off? On...but they are getting tight. I've stopped wearing my band and am just wearing my engagement ring so they both dont get stuck.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Both. I think its always both.
Looking forward to: my next ultrasound!

Heart attack and Hearty laugh

So I have been all over the place emotionally this past week or so.

I was so active and little man wasnt moving much...like I'm pretty sure I went 2 days without feeling anything. Hence, the heart attack. I asked my husband, brother, and dad to give me a blessing. I was comforted in the reminder that this is the path my Heavenly Father wants me to go down and that I would in fact, deliver a healthy baby. Just what I needed.

Also, because of my roller coaster emotions, its been hard to "have fun".

My brother Jeff is going to start working with our older brother through the state. However he needed to get set up through a company so he came to mine. Well, by law we are required to do reference checks on all employees (even if they are family!).
My boss decided to do his since I am Jeff's sister. All I hear from his office is laughter (which i though was weird). He then comes out and says, "The last guy i spoke to said that the only thing bad about Jeff he could say was that he was short!"

Leave it to my brother's good friend Brint to get my whole office laughing today. Thanks Brint!

zzzzzzz

I am so tired.

I'll I can think about is sleeping.

I keep day dreaming that I have a pillow here at my desk and I'm lying down.

zzzzzzz.

Blank. Revised.

I’m weird because…
I can’t sleep with my hair down. Must be in a pony or flipped over my pillow.
I drink pepsi like its water.
I have a no shoes policy in my home. Be comfy people!
I like Nacho Doritos with my PB&J sandwhiches. And Sour Cream and Onion chips with my cheese crisps.
I love the smell of gasoline.
I prefer to NOT cuddle when I sleep.
I can only pop my neck one way.
I will eat chips and salsa as a meal.
I have to have my house clean before I leave out of town.
I'm scared of drowning and scorpions.
I prefer the pizza crust to the actual pizza sometimes.
I drink from over 10 glasses a day.
I have a love/hate relationship with our dishwasher.
I hate putting laundry away.
I think my biggest pet peeve is when house numbers are not visible.
I absolutely LOVE pythons (albino), flamingos, and great white sharks.
I do a happy dance when I get a package in the mail.--which is not often.
I make a mean pasta dish.

 

I’m a bad friend because…

I am terrible at returning phone calls and emails.

I don't always word things the way I want to.

I sometimes forget activities that I've committed to until last minute.

I get so tired sometimes that when we actually have plans with someone I bail just because the thought of going out mentally exhausts me.

I’m a good friend because…


I want to see those I love succeed.
I love and cherish friendship.
I love my friends kids.
You can show up at my house at midnight to talk about your bad day. Or call at 3 in the morning.

I’m sad because…I spend alot of my time thinking about not being stuck at work.
I too often get consumed with guilt. (especially the not wanting to work thing...)
I sometimes let little things get in the way of the big picture.
I need to be better at letting things roll off my back.


 

I’m happy because…I in my 7th month of pregnancy!
This little boy is bringing me alot of joy (not a whole lot of sleep, but joy!)
I just remembered that my husband is going to be home when i get home!
My mom bought me new maternity clothes and they are so cute!
My baby shower is in one month!!

 

I’m excited for…
My baby shower!
My next ultrasound/glucose test.
Getting into maternity leggings...which equals to the best invention ever.
Valentines day! (Last Valentines I was recovering from surgery!)
My house to be completely clean.
Going through our dresser and getting rid of clothes that dont fit.
Hearing from WellsFargo if Jace got the promotion that he just interviewed for!
Maternity leave. :)
Having this baby!!!!!!!

27 Weeks!! aka 3rd and FINAL trimester!!!

How far along? 27 weeks and 2 days
Total weight gain/loss:  15 lbs?! Yikes!
Maternity clothes? Yes and LOVING them! My mom just bought me a few more shirts and leggings!
Stretch marks? Yep--they spiderwebbed all around my poor belly button.
Sleep: I'm waking up ALOT over this past week...not sleeping well
Best moment this week: my stroller/carseat came yesterday and i put it together all by myself! its getting real folks!
Worst moment this week?: I've been fairly active lately which generally means little man is not moving around much. But i went 2 days where I was pretty sure I didnt feel him at all. It about gave this momma to be a heart attack.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Advil. Being able to get up fast if I need to...sleeping well.
Movement: Yes! Not all the time, and mostly while I'm falling asleep.
Food cravings: still nothing just hitting me...but i'll never turn down curly fries or mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Smoke. Any kind. Fish. Any kind.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In-ish...its mostly out right now...
Wedding rings on or off? On...but they are getting tight.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Both. I think its always both.
Looking forward to: my next ultrasound on Feb 3rd!

26 Weeks!!

I did not do a belly picture this week. Fail.


How far along? 26 weeks 6 days
Total weight gain/loss: 13 lbs! Holy cow.
Maternity clothes? Yes and LOVING them
Stretch marks? Yep--they spiderwebbed all around my poor belly button.
Sleep: Falling asleep everywhere. But once I wake up, its hard to go back to sleep.
Best moment this week:this was the first time that Nash has kicked/hit hard enough to see my stomache move!--and the best part was Jace got to witness it too.
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Advil. Being able to get up fast if I need to...feeling good!
Movement: Yes! Not all the time, and mostly while I'm falling asleep.
Food cravings:still nothing just hitting me...but i'll never turn down curly fries or mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Smoke. Any kind. Fish. Any kind.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In-ish...its mostly out right now...
Wedding rings on or off? On...but they are getting tight.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Both. I think its always both.
Looking forward to: my baby shower!! also, i ordered my diaper bag yesterday (squee!) and my shower group gift (my stroller/carseat) is being shipped this week as well! its like christmas! but with baby stuff!

Waiting

I feel like all I'm doing lately is WAITING.

Waiting...for Jace to get that promotion he's been working so hard for.

Waiting...until my baby shower next month!

Waiting...until I get to stop working at the end of March!

Waiting...for this little man to make his arrival (which I can definitely wait until hes ready!)

Waiting...to see what he'll look like.

Waiting...to see how I am as a mother. (I'm slightly terrified because I've been wanting this for so long--what if i'm horrible at it!??!)

Waiting. Waiting. and more Waiting.

I shouldnt complain. Jace and I both have good jobs at the moment. We have a lovely place we call home. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have good families that are super supportive (and close by!) And after 3+ years of trying to have a baby, we have our little boy that will be with us in just 3 months!!! We have so much to be grateful for!!...and then there is the waiting!

Ah! Its killing me.

Feelings

I've always been an emotional person.

 

Not in the sense of breaking into tears to get what I want, or throwing a hissy fit when something doesnt go my way.

 

I've always tried to be super sensitive and understanding to others.

 

Which has been both a great blessing and a bit of a curse.

 

Because I'm like this and care so deeply about others, I have gotten my feelings hurt when others dont repsond the same way.

 

My husband's brain isnt wired that way. Its been a struggle in our marriage. Me not having too high of expectations, and him working hard to think about my feelings.

 

Like in all things, we have truiumphs and failures.

 

Since I've been pregnant, I have felt really good about the fact that I have not let my emotions get the better of me (for the most part). I have not ONCE been a weepy mess because I have gotten my feelings hurt...or because Jace didnt do the dishes, or because I saw a really pretty butterfly. (I normally just get irrationally angry when there is a stupid driver around or a dumb comercial...)

That is until last night.

 

 

 

I was feeling needy and needed comfort. Comfort that was not given. Then because I was upset, harsh words were spoken to and from me and I fell into what I'm going to call "disrepair". It was awful. It also continued through today. My feelings had not healed from the night before and then like a wound opening back up just as its about to heal, my feelings plummetted. I was quite literally broken hearted.

 

I know that this was all escalated by the fact that I have lots of hormones bouncing around.

 

Doesnt change the fact that I just had a 2 day melt down and am sitting at work with red, puffy eyes and a fake smile on my face. Oh joy.

25 Weeks!

 

How far along? 25 Weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/loss:  13 lbs! Holy cow.
Maternity clothes? Yes and LOVING them
Stretch marks? Yep
Sleep: Falling asleep everywhere. But once I wake up, its hard to go back to sleep.
Best moment this week: Finally got to go back in for another ultrasound...saw my cutie and got a picture!
Have you told family and friends: Yes!
Miss Anything? Advil. Being able to get up fast if I need to...feeling good!
Movement: Yes! Not all the time, and mostly while I'm falling asleep.
Food cravings: water this week. I've been so sick and have ended up dehydrated.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Smoke. Any kind. Fish. Any kind.
Have you started to show yet: Yes!
Gender: Boy!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In-ish...its half out right now...
Wedding rings on or off? On...but they are getting tight.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody this week! So so so sick.
Looking forward to:  feeling better. seriously i cant breathe!

2013 end year review

I've been dying on my couch for the better part of a week.

I've done alot of reflecting in that time.

I've decided that in 2013 we experienced some of the lowest lows and some of the highest highs.

It had heartbreak and joy in the purest sense.

In January we started fertility treatments and learned that I had some problems with my body.

In February I had surgery and started all of my heavy medications. Not pregnant. 

In April my best friend got married and I was a matron of honor. Still not pregnant.

May came along and Jace turned 26 and we took a little trip to the cabin. I got a new job.

In June I turned 26. The day before my birthday and two days before Father's day we learned that I wasnt pregnant. It was a hard blow. Jace and my family worked really hard to make sure my birthday was wonderful despite the bad news.

In July we took a break from doing fertility--trying to decide to keep trying or not. We decided to give it one more go.

August brought the news that we have been waiting 3 years for. We were finally pregnant and going to be parents!! We announced to my family, and went to 2 ultrasound appointments.

September my baby brother put in his mission papers, we scheduled surgery for my older brother, we took family pictures with my family since my baby brother would be leaving soon, and we had our last appointment at our fertility doctor which was bitter sweet.

October brought our 4th anniversary!, Joe leaving on his mission, Randy having brain surgery and staying in the hospital for a few weeks, announcing to our other family and friends that we were expecting (13 weeks!) and our first OB appointment.

November I hit HALF WAY!!! and we learned that our little angel is a BABY BOY!! Our Nash Cameron will be so loved. Jace began interviewing for promotions so I hopefully dont have to go back to work after Nash is born.

December brought family and friends together. It also brought sickness. I have been down and out for almost 2 weeks now. We are so excited to be welcoming in a new year and to see what this next year has in store for us!

This year Jace got promoted to Personal Banker, and then got moved to a new store which has been amazing. I left my 2 year job at Gunnell's to pursue the unknown job at ITC which has been such a growing experience for me. We lost a dear uncle and welcomed new additions (2 new nephews and multiple cousins children). Wow. 2013 thank you! I'm giddy to see 2014!!!