I don't know if this is a woman thing.
Or if its a general thing.
Or maybe its just an "Andrea is crazy" kind of thing.
But man alive, lately I've been feeling so overwhelmed.
I've talked it over with my sweet husband, and yesterday with my dear mother.
Last year, i WAY cut back on my working hours at my day job hoping that would help. And it did for awhile, but the last 6 months (also when we started fertility treatments and LOTS of medications) I started feeling completely overwhelmed again.
My day job is in downtown Mesa...and i'm not busy at all. Which is good and bad. Part of my problem is that I get to sleep in (I don't have to work until 10) and so i'm sluggish in the mornings...then i go to work and sit on my booty--watching hulu or browsing blogs until I leave. I'm not productive at all. And the summer is hitting...which means that I wont be busy for the next 4 months. Oi.
I try and do hair in the afternoons, but I haven't had very many clients lately, so I feel that i sit around until I need to make dinner (if I can find the motivation) and Jace comes home, we eat, watch TV, and then go to bed.
I've come to realize that 80% of my brain is focusing on the fertility and medications and doctors appointments (7 already for April and tomorrow). And the other 20% gets family things, financial woes, church activities, work, and general stress.
I'm a mess people!
We have been praying for a door to open in regards to me feeling more productive, and happy at work and also for a boost in income. Thinking about leaving my current day job (I've been here 2 years) makes me want to hyperventilate. Its easy and comfortable here...I know what I need to do and whats expected of me. I fear! I'm scared to grow! I really need to get a grip on myself and focus on what would benefit our family, and allow me to become a better person. Even if its scary.
Brain rant over. :)
6 months ago