I've found myself slipping into some of my not so lovely tendencies of anxiety and stress.
I'm pregnant. Which apparently can make you anxious and stressed out. Who knew?
We are also smack dab in the middle of the holidays...which are always a stresser.
This year, I'm experiencing what alot of mom's and dad's must experience...the stress of finding the time. And in "finding the time", I include "finding peace".
Finding time has never really been an issue for me. Generally, I have had fairly easy jobs that allowed me as much time as I wanted/needed to get my house clean, my dishes scrubbed, my house decorated in record time, presents bought and wrapped, dinner made, lessons planned, letters written, friends called, dates planned and executed, and peace found (in reading my scriptures, going to the temple, visiting family at the cemetary, and JUST BEING).
Now, I work everyday from 8:30-6 PM. I'm exhausted just from sitting all day. I'm unmotivated. My body aches, and trying to deal with unhappy people all day has left me drained and frusterated. Its dark when I leave...like crazy dark. Which makes it hard to want to try and clean or make dinner. It feels like any time I have to myself (for a bath, to read a book, to sit quietly) is selfish and unattainable. My brain is on constant overload. Instead of looking at my home and seeing what needs to get done and then jumping in and just DOING it...i have looked around, felt so overwhelmed that I just sit and stare and wonder how i'm going to manage when I have this little man.
But then I remember the thing that I'm missing the most. The peace. Finding the time for peace. Making sure I have a few minutes, or an hour...to sit quietly and ponder. To listen for the Spirit to whisper answers or questions to me. To feel God's love for me.
And I know I cant be the only one. In the world we live in, its sure hard to "find the time" for anything, let alone to "find the time to just BE, and be at PEACE."
I think we should all try to remember that the THINGS can wait. So what if I'm not completely decorated for Christmas yet? So what if I have almost no glasses to drink out of because they are all dirty and in the sink? So what if things are different. There is one thing that shouldnt wait, its connecting with our Heavenly Father and making sure we are listening for the path that we should be taking...that we should be taking the time for PEACE.
Just a thought. Random, I know.