Friday, October 16, 2015

The important things.

Throughout my life there have been hard things.
Tough things.

They have always made me stronger. Better.

I have noticed that since I got married...things are still hard and tough. More so now, if I'm being honest. And in some ways they have made me better and stronger as a person.

But not always.

I struggle with body image now, which is something i've never done. 

I catch myself comparing myself to my sisters in law or a good friend who seems to have it all together.

I find myself getting jealous of things now.

Or find myself lacking in areas I feel I should excel at.

There are times I long for the girl I used to be.

But, then I wouldnt know what I do now. I wouldnt know that I can overcome heartbreak. That I can put my trust in God to carry me through because my legs cant physically hold me up anymore. I wouldnt know and have Nash without going through devastating infertility. I wouldnt have reached outside of myself and taken jobs and excelled at them. I wouldnt be ME.

I want to remember DAILY the important things.

My family.

My son.

My testimony in God the Eternal Father and my elder brother Jesus Christ.

That things are JUST THINGS.

That the strawberry slushie Nash just spilled all over my cream rug DOESNT MATTER.
(I didnt yell or scold. I actually just said "Oops! Did you find your daddy's slushie?" Then i cleaned it up and gave him a kiss. It made me feel so good!!)

That I'm dealing with and working through some pretty "heavy" and tough things. People dont know that. And they may say or do or think hurtful things about me...and that is on them. I cant and SHOULDNT worry about that. Because I'm trying to be a better me and overcome the obstacles placed before maybe that girl that "i long for" can manifest herself in this more weathered and experienced woman I am now. 

Happy Friday everyone!

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