A first....missed.

Nash had his first primary program as a sunbeam today. He has been practicing and practicing his songs, memorized his little part, and was SO excited.

Jace's parents happened to be in town and were there along with my parents, who are in the ward as well. Nash was over the moon about this.

The only problem is that I'm in senior primary as a teacher. My seat on the stand was directly behind the organ so not only could I not see nash at all, I also couldn't hear him. I could see jace and his parents laughing and it hit me...this is my ONLY child...this is a first for him and for us...and I missed it.

I was devastated actually. Because who knows if I'll have more kids. This might have been my only shot to see my kid perform for the first time. I could barely keep it together for the next 2 hours of church. I immediately came home and just sobbed and sobbed.

I was also frustrated because a few people who I'm sure meant well and were just trying to joke around, approached me with sarcasm about nash's singing and exuberance. I already was on edge and that kind of pushed me to the edge.

No one told ME that he was adorable or cute or that he must have been practicing. I was told, "wow...cant you put a cork in him? Trust me...everyone in the whole church heard him.. hes loud" or "he sure is enthusiastic especially for not knowing all the words." My heart was breaking already and that did it.

I didn't get a cute picture like I wanted, and I didn't get to just enjoy the program. I feel so sad about it. I missed seeing him and hearing him...in his first primary program. But I know that he rocked it. My sweet boy.