Conflicted

I'm conflicted.

Right now, I am feeling a major NEED to PURGE.

Seriously, if it were possible, i think I'd sell most of our possessions and start over (with the exception of the paint color in most of the house. we JUST re-did that and I love it).

But I know thats not possible.

The inside of our home doesnt have very much storage space. There is one tiny hall closet that was just for linens that i have been trying to make work for a broom closet (hello, vacuum!) as well as games and linens. All other bedroom closets have been stacked full of important papers, old clothes that dont fit, old items from our pre-marriage days that we havent been able to part with, and nashs closet was chalk full of every item of clothing he has outgrown as well as every piece of baby "stuff" (infant car seat, baby bath tub, bouncer, music table, extra diapers he outgrew, teething toys etc) that we could cram in there.

We have a garage out in our backyard (i know weird!) and there is no access for an actual car. Its a HUGE space (that eventually will become our master bedroom/bathroom/closet--WAY down the road) that would be perfect for storage if there was a space to put things.

So, over Jace's PTO (paid time off) from work, I had him build me shelves for my garage. I drew up what I wanted and he went to work. They are dreamy and now I want more! (I'll post pictures as soon as I can get my garage put back together!)

I started putting things back in the garage that was already in there and realized that we needed to get rid of some stuff, especially because the goal was to clear out some much needed closet space IN the house.

So here comes the purge! I've been throwing away, trying to sell a few things, and have quite the collection to donate amasing. I have not been conflicted about ANYTHING...until I got to nash's closet.

Its no secret that I want more children. I long for the day when my arms are holding more babies and when Nash has siblings to play with. Most of his baby stuff will stay with the hope and goal of using them again in the not too distant (i hope!) future. It was super emotional for me. I cried about his tiny shoes. I had forgotten about his mobile. I found the millions of soothie binkies that I forgot we had. And then...the TOYS. I feel like we have a zillion toys and ONE child! I want to put everything i consider "baby" away....but now that he sees it, he keeps playing with them! I mean, more than his other toys! I know that he will forget about them once they are out of sight for awhile. But I mean, you shouldve seen his face when I bagged up some old toys that I told him were going to another little girl or boy to play with. It was like i took away his most favorite thing in the world!

So. I have been letting him play for the last two days with more toys I found. I've been going back and forth in my head--maybe i could leave them out for him to play with....and then THEY NEED TO GO NOW! Super conflicted. lol

Edited: If anyone is wondering, my purge desire has won out over sentimentality. I stuffed them all in a bag and it will be on its way out to the garage ASAP. :)